Treatment Tracker Update

Can I get a WOOT WOOT??

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Yes, it's that time again. Hard to believe, right? Moving right along. Oh, and with this treatment I'll have 4 down and 8 to go in round 2!

Image credit to BizzyB

We're breaking in a new treatment buddy today so say a prayer for her. She has no idea what she's gotten herself into. We are goofy, but ALWAYS respectful of others and their mood. I'd like to think that we bring a little bit of joy to the infusion area each week. We try, anyway, because that's one place that I can guarantee you that everyone would prefer not to be, so why not bring a smile when you can. Oh, and we've started playing dance music while we're there.  Be honest, you want to go, don't you?  ;-)

So, a couple of weeks ago we started the VERY early discussions about what we'll do for my last treatment. We think there will be shirts and we're working on goodies for the staff and other patients. Last week we worked out the treatment schedule through the end of August and it came up that I should finish up (assuming no delays) in late September. One of the wonderful ladies at the desk popped her head around the corner and said "When is your last day?" and I told her the expected date. She then grabbed a note pad and said, "I have to make sure I'm on the schedule that day!"  Awwwww  

I have a later treatment time today so I'm going to try to do something productive. Expect another post because, with the later treatment time, my Benadryl nap and subsequent steroid-induced insomnia cycles are going to be way off. Such is life...  

Dance, my friends!!!!

Love to all,

Andee

Don't wait for "someday"

When Bobby and I moved in here almost 8 years ago, we had been married for less than a year, were childless and had plans to update the house (which was built in 1996) a little at a time. We pretty quickly updated one of the bedrooms - it was to be a guest room and we were expecting guests. Not long after that we found out I was pregnant with Christian and everyone knows our story since then. Life happened. Stripping 90's era wallpaper, painting and shopping for accessories and stuff to go on the walls fell WAY down on the priority list. Who am I kidding, it fell OFF of the priority list. I've never been one to try to keep up with Mr. & Mrs. Jones. I'm more apt to NOT do something simply BECAUSE it seems popular. I know, I have issues.  Anyway, I've spent most of my time at home over the past few months. Add to that my crazy sleep cycle which results in my being awake at odd hours and you know I end up trolling Pinterest. I have been a "I like that, I'll pin it maybe get around to it someday." Then it hits me - what the heck are you waiting for? When, exactly, is "someday"?? Do you know when "someday" is?? Really??  How many things are you planning on getting around to "someday"??  If a cancer diagnosis has given me anything, it's an adjusted perspective on life. If you want to do something, DO IT! I started a list of things that need to be done around the house, some fun projects from Pinterest, some long term updates and ideas. The point is, I'm moving beyond my Pinterest boards and making plans. Right now, we are focusing on low budget projects. Things for which we already have most, if not all, of the supplies needed to complete. The playhouse project is one. Bobby has used materials from what used to be our pool deck and is creating something extra special for our babies. (By the way, building a playhouse from the deck material was his idea (Super Dad), I just submitted a suggestion from Pinterest...thankfully, he liked it!) The supply list for the one on Pinterest was over $1,000 - so far we've invested less than $175. You can't beat that! Plus, I'm hoping the kids love it for years and that makes it priceless anyway. Other projects:

• Mattie's cabinet update (FREE)
• A closet organizing spree (FREE - so far) I can do it sitting down and between naps.
• Paper flower bouquet for Mattie's cabinet - Less than $2. I already had the paper, sticks and glue gun. We spent some spare change on floral tape.

It may not sound like much but this is coming from someone who was working 12+ hour days, cooked dinner just about every night, spent time with the kiddos then put them to bed, would sleep a little, then start all over. No time for myself, no time for any extraneous projects or activities...busy, busy, busy.  I'm not saying that much of anything on the list above is going to change once I finish the experience that is 2014 but I WILL make time for me and I will spend some time making this house into the house it can be. Nothing fancy (that's not us) but simply adding those touches that make it cozy, comfy and all ours.  

My challenge for my Pinterest friends, DO one of the projects you've had your eye on.  You don't have to be crafty, you just have to be willing. If you don't want to do something crafty, simply declutter and donate, think about ways to update something you already have. Step out of your comfort zone and don't wait for "SOMEDAY"!!!! If you're not on Pinterest, GOOD FOR YOU, but think about something you're planning on doing "someday" and just do it! Come on friends, take back your life and have some fun!

Follow ups, tests and an explanation

Good early morning to you, friends.
I think I should start with the explanation. If you are a regular reader you might be a bit confused by my previous post. Let me start by saying that I'm still doing well. My attitude is still positive, I am pressing on with treatment, and sleeping a lot...'cause that's how I roll!  ;-) My rant really wasn't a response to my situation, but someone else's. Even though I'm receiving treatment for cancer, I experience many of the same feelings that, I assume, my family and others have when a loved one is diagnosed. A very special lady, the mother of a very dear friend that I've known for a long time, is going through a very difficult battle of her own. I want to help, provide support, make it all better and I can't. Not for her or her dear family. I hate cancer for what it's doing to them and for the fact that it keeps me from doing what I would normally do - BE THERE! Please say a prayer for my friend, her mom and the entire family.

This week for me will be a little more packed than normal. I'll be leaving soon because today I have my 3 month follow up with my AWESOME surgeon today. I'll probably spend more time driving and parking than it will take for the actual appointment but it will be nice to check in and make sure everything is all healed up as it should be.

I think I'll have my echo this week as well. I have to call and confirm but I think it will be after treatment on Wednesday. The call I received was a little light on the details but I'm pretty sure that's the case. Of course, I will keep you posted because I know you won't sleep until that little detail is clarified.  ;-)

Well, I'm off to the big city! Take care everyone and I'll post later.

Love to all,
Andee

Peace

I am not at peace with cancer. I'm not at peace with what it does to people's bodies. It's a HORRIBLE thing, regardless of the form it takes. I am not at peace with what it does to the families of  those diagnosed.  Heartbreak, fear, a feeling of helplessness. I don't ask why me but I do ask "Why them? Why has the journey been so hard? Why the suffering? "
I am not at peace with cancer! I'm angry!

Settle down there, Mother Nature

It would be nice if you could keep it quiet out there. Though I did get a good amount of sleep yesterday, today I've been awake since the 4 o'clock hour. An actual pattern of sleep might be nice. ;-)

4 months

Since I'm awake, I thought I would work on a blog post. I've slept 20+ hours so far (since Thursday night) and could probably sleep some more but, for now, I'm up. So, what to write about??? Hmmmm. I just happened to look down at the date on my laptop and what do you know, it's been 4 months today since I was diagnosed. How's THAT for something to talk about?

Image from and designed by BlossomCards. Buy baby belly stickers from them at www.blossomcards.com!!

In some ways it seems so much longer than that, like this cancer junk has been part of my life forever. Thankfully it has not but it sure has made an impact on the whole family in the past 4 months. As I've mentioned before, for me, things happened very quickly after the diagnosis. Here's a short recap.

• 3/26/14 - Mammograms/Ultrasound/Biopsy/Diagnosis
• 3/27/14 - Confirmation of diagnosis and biopsy results. Launch the blog and tell the world.
• 4/9/14 - Met with surgeon 
• 4/15/14 - Bilateral mastectomy
• 4/30/14 - Met with Medical Oncologist regarding chemo plan
• 5/1/14 - Met with Radiation Oncologist regarding radiation plan
• 5/9/14 - Chemo port implanted (outpatient)
• 5/14/14 - Chemo began (Round 1) - 4 sessions, one every 2 weeks
• 6/25/14 - Round 1 chemo completed
• 7/9/14 - Round 2 chemo began - first of 12 weekly sessions

That's just the highlights (you're welcome). If you want to read through all of the fun details, go back to the beginning and enjoy!

So, have I learned anything new in the past 4 months? AFFIRMATIVE!!! 

• My family is WICKED AWESOME!  From my husband, to my parents, my sister, my in-laws, my aunts, uncles, cousins...the offers of support have been non-stop!
  We've had meals delivered, grocery shopping done, help with the property, cleaning, and the most important thing, help with the kids. The goal has been to keep things as normal as possible for them, and when it can't be normal (when Mommy sleeps for 20+ hours and Daddy needs to work) family has been there to care for, entertain and just plain love our babies. I hate that I can't be 100% but I take comfort in knowing that our babies are safe, sound and loved to pieces.
• Both Bobby and I have been blessed with some pretty spectacular work families. I hope it's never anything you have to consider in your professional life but if you're going to be faced with a life changing event, I hope that you experience the same levels of understanding, encouragement, love and support that Bobby and I have. So much love and appreciation for everyone at Sky Unlimited and SCM.
  
  
  
  
• Be an active participant in your own healthcare. Research, read, educate yourself. Take notes, ask questions and DO NOT BE AFRAID TO GET IN THE GAME!! I not only researched my diagnosis and treatment options, I researched my doctors...all of them! Even now, I take notes between treatments and ask questions at EVERY visit. It doesn't matter if I'm meeting with my oncologist that week or not. I ask the nurses questions all the time.  If you try to learn as you go, it can make the process a little less scary. If you have a question or a concern about something, talk about it, ask questions.
• Attitude is important. I thought I "knew" this before but I really know it now. Don't get me wrong, a positive attitude will not cure you but a less than positive attitude can hurt you. A cancer diagnosis has to be one of the most terrifying things but you can't let it knock you down. It's a very tough road to travel - trust me, it's no picnic. That said, with all we've been through in the past 4 months, it has not been as awful as I expected it to be. Again, it's not just attitude, that doesn't cure all ills, however, it is one of the building blocks.
• Put your healing and recovery FIRST! This is not as easy as it sounds. I want to work, I want to take care of my children, I'd prefer to do my own laundry everyday, I'd prefer to do my own grocery shopping and cooking...and on, and on...
  I'm blessed with each of the "building blocks" above so I have a sturdy foundation which gives me the ability to focus on what I need to do to get through this challenge. It's not always easy. I've felt guilt over my kiddos, I've felt guilt over handing over grocery lists or asking for some sort of help. I'm not 100% over it but I've realized that others want to do something, they want to provide help and support - they can't do anything about the cancer or treatment side effects but they can help and, in some ways, that helps them deal with this crap too!  

I'm sure I could go on and on but you get the idea. If you find yourself in a similar situation, my advice to you would be as follows:

• Be involved in your own care. 
• Ask for and accept support when you need it.
• Think positive - look for the upside in everything.
• Put yourself and your healing first.

My goal is that 4 months from now, I'm writing a lovely post about the joy of completing treatment and heading into the most meaningful Holiday seasons of my life. I hope you're along for the ride because I'm excited to see how it all turns out...and yes, there will be a dance party!

Love to all,

Andee

Let the sleep cycle begin

I may be offline for a while so I thought I would post something.   Ta-da! Here I am!
I'm off to bed to see if I can knock out A LOT of hours of sleep. The tally is still sitting at 5 hours of sleep since 6 AM yesterday. I believe the steroids have left the building and I'm ready to hibernate.
I'm signing off but I'll check in when I wake.  You can hardly wait, right?

Love to all!
Andee

Making a few changes

I just wanted to update you on some changes I'm making with regard to other social media sites and the blog. In an effort to keep my "normal life/family stuff" separate from my cancer related topics, I've created a FB page to go with the blog. You don't have to be a friend to get quick updates and/or links to blog posts. This cleans up my timeline and everyone else's news feed. It will also provide the "blog only" friends with another spot to get information and catch of a glimpse of life during treatment.

For your convenience, I have added "Follow" buttons to the menu - check out the top right of the screen and you can see links to FB, Twitter and Instagram. If you're viewing from your cell phone and can't see those options, you can either go to your computer and view the blog OR stay right there on your phone, scroll to the bottom of the screen and simply click the "View Web Version" option. This will open up a whole new world of blog goodness for you. 

Thanks as always for the continued messages of love and support, meals and every prayer and good vibe you are sending our way. 

Much love to all!

Andee

Treatment Tracker Update

Who will win?

Will it be the Benadryl, steroids or caffeine that wins the sleep battle today? Our betting windows will be open until 3 PM.

Here's a brief update before I (probably...hopefully) take my Benadryl nap which precedes my steroid-induced insomnia.

• We discussed side effects and it was determined that the nuisance side effects were tolerable and no "nasty" side effects so we would move forward with this treatment.  
• Blood work was good but I'm getting close to the "moderate risk" category on my ANC. My count was 1200 today so I just have to be careful and hope that it doesn't drop. The goal is for it to be 1000 or above. We have some wiggle room below 1000 but I could drop again between now and the next visit.  There's a chart below for your viewing pleasure.
  In the event that the numbers do drop, it could mean Neupogen injections or even delayed treatment. Let's pray that I can will my body to make the necessary white blood cells and I can keep on trucking! 

Risk of Infection based on Absolute Neutrophil Count (ANC)

ANC greater than 1500 No increased risk of infection ANC 1000-1500 Slight increase in risk of infection ANC 500-1000 Moderate increase in risk of infection ANC 100-500 High risk of infection ANC less than 100 Extremely high risk of infection

Source:ChemoCare.com

• It's time for another heart echo. It looks like that will happen prior to my next visit with my oncologist. The chemo can weaken the heart muscle so they like to keep an eye on things. I love a non-invasive test.
• I put my numbing cream on nice and early this morning and did not feel a thing with either the insertion of the needle, nor the removal. Woot woot!

That's all I've got right now. Catch you on the flip side!

Love to all,

Andee

Little wins

I made it out of the house with my wig tag safely tucked away but I did almost leave with my shirt on inside out.

Pray for me. ;-)

Let's talk about some (real but) funny stuff (In progress)

I need a laugh...what about you? I'm tired of talking about side effects and chemo - BLAH!

I'm going to sleep shortly but I wanted to get a post out there, even if it's a brief one.

So, as you've probably figured out by now, I'm what my sister calls "special". I could write an unlimited amount of blog posts about my specialness but this one is about...wait for it...cancer stuff!  Don't worry, it will be fun. Since I want to make this quick, I will compose this in my typical bullet point style. Here we go.

Andee's "Do As I Say, Not As I Do" Cancer Treatment Tips
The formatting is a mess but I'm not going to fix tonight. Be patient my friends, I'll take care of it.   ;-)

• Wig Tips! - Most people don't choose to write a blog and share all of their business after a cancer diagnosis. Those same people might also prefer that the general public not be aware they are wearing a wig. Clearly, I'm not one of those people. This post is for everyone but will be of particular interest to anyone trying to keep their cranial prosthetic on the DL. Wigs are lovely things. Yes, they can be hot and (during hair loss) REALLY uncomfortable. Once the worst it over they aren't that bad. Anyway, if you find yourself in need of a wig, remember this. There's a lot going on under that weave. You need to pay close attention because there are a few things that can give away your secret.  For instance, note that your wig will probably have a tag in the back. Yes, just like your clothes. On some wigs, you might also find thin straps inside the cap to help adjust the fit. Don't do what I did - don't leave the house with the tag sticking out of the back of your wig. This might be something that could give it away. That, or having one of straps hanging out the back. Yes, I have done both. Sad, right? Of course, I'd tell any stranger on the street I was wearing a wig because I'm a dork like that. Regardless, it's kind of hard to maintain your "I've got my self together" vibe with a big ol' tag sticking' out of the bottom of your hairline.

We have reached the end of our broadcast day. Our writer is signing off to get a few hours sleep. Join us tomorrow!

(For all of you young folk, that's supposed to be funny...back in my youth, TV stations actually signed off...nevermind. I feel old just having to explain it...)

I'll be back tomorrow to complete this post...if, at that time, I can even recall was I was planning on writing...

Love to all

Andee

What the heck?!

I can handle waking up in the wee hours of the morning (today it was 2:30/3ish) - this is an issue that pre-dates treatment.  I do, however, have an issue with waking up at that hour hungry...no, starving! Surely this is not a steroid thing. Ugh. I haven't eaten yet but breakfast should be interesting.

This seems to be going by so quickly

It's time for another one of those "silver linings". For a number of reasons (which I'm sure I will blog about at some point) it's terribly annoying to sleep days at time but, as always, I try to find the upside of every situation. The upside here is that with weekly treatments, this round seems to be flying by! I'm getting ready for number 3 and that means I'll only have 9 more to go. Already? Really??

So, let's do a side effect check as we roll through the end of week 2.

• Off the nausea meds for the week. I'll start back up on Tuesday. Did I mention I was down to one prescription instead of two. This is GREAT news.
• I have ended up with another (very small) "irritation" in my mouth. Still manageable so I can't complain.
• The inside of my nose is INSANELY dry. I'll try not to gross anyone out but it's bad dry. I've been snorting saline like you wouldn't believe and have even resorted to putting some Vaseline in my nose. I've had some minor bloody nose issues but, again, taking care of it so more of an irritation than anything.
• My hands and feet are still nice and dark. My right hand is the worst of the bunch. My sister told me it looked like I'd had a hand transplant.  I talked to the nurse about it on Wednesday and she said that, yes, it's a side effect of the chemo. She checked out my hands and said I was lucky (so far) because some people's fingernails turn dark. Wait...what?!?  The would just take the cake, right?!
• I haven't noticed any neuropathy (tingling and/or pain) in my hands or feet this time around. This is GREAT news. This particular side effect can be "mild and irritating" all the way up to "painful and permanent".  Let's pray for no neuropathy!
• What am I leaving out???  Oh! Chemo Brain seems to be improving just a tad. I still have a thought, take two steps and forget what the thought was BUT it just seems better (just go with me on this one).
• Hair update - what I have is definitely longer but the bare spots don't seem to filling in just yet. Seriously? I bet I'm going to have to end up trimming the fuzz or I'll look like Fire Marshal Bill.   

After my marathon sleep (Thursday-Friday), my babies came home on Friday. Bless their little hearts,I miss them so much when they're not here. They are getting to do some fun stuff. I hope this is a summer they remember because of the time with their grandparents, golf outings and swim lessons and not because Mommy slept through most of it. 

It is way past my bed time so I'm gonna go but I hope to get to those RRT posts tomorrow. 

In the meantime, please say a prayer for a very dear friend and her mother (and entire family). Mom is dealing with health challenges right now and they could use all of the prayers, good vibes and happy thoughts you can spare to lift them up and support them. Say it with me, "Cancer Sucks!"

Love to all,

Andee

And the total so far is...

21 hours of sleep (estimate) since 8:00 Thursday night and it doesn't feel like I'm done yet. This is insane.

Wow!

Fell asleep again and woke up @ 6:20. My hubby and babies are home so I'm going to catch up with them and then I'll post. I have a feeling I'll be awake for a while. Lol

5 more hours of sleep with more to come

Time for breakfast, to check on my fur babies, stroll for a bit and then maybe, just maybe, another post before more sleep. See what I mean? CRAZY sleep cycle.

7 hours of sleep and more to come

Happy early morning to you, friends. I'm (barely) awake and will try to remain that way for a few minutes to squeeze in a post. The steroids have finally left the building so I was able to hang on until about 8PM last night before going to bed. I woke up (like I frequently do) in the 3 AM hour. I'm still sleepy (which is a fabulous thing) so I'll be going to back to sleep once this post is finished. It's the little things...right?
So, a few updates. Let's review side effects for this round.

• Benadryl haze - day 1. I finally figured out I needed to use this to my advantage. The goal is to go to sleep immediately after I get home from treatment. It allows me to get some "bonus" sleep before the Benadryl wears off and the steroids then keep me awake for a day.
• Fatigue is still, by far, the worst of the side effects. Let me update that, it's not the worst, it has the biggest impact, the most disruptive. The worst would be unending pain or nausea, etc. You get what I mean here. It makes me a little useless. The hardest part for me is that while I'm useless, I spend most of my time sleeping and my children need supervision. My parents have been so fabulous about taking care of my precious babies for days at a time. They are keeping them entertained, active, loved and possibly a bit spoiled. My in laws have helped too. We are so blessed to have the level of support that we do. It's just very hard for me to be away from my babies for the majority of the week. If it wasn't for FaceTime, I would go crazy. As always, I remind myself that this is only temporary, they are having fun (though they miss us too), and they are spending time with family and doing things they wouldn't normally get to do. I'm happy to report that yesterday was dance class day so they came home to visit. My mom helped with the kiddos, dad mowed the grass then Bobby and his dad worked on the "kiddos surprise" after work. I fell asleep before they were done but they are moving right along. Also, we're continuing to get meal help from family - SUCH a blessing.  Anyway....lots of support, lots of love and TONS of appreciation for everyone who has stepped to assist while I play Sleeping Judy.
  I know....I "squirreled" a bit there so let's get back to side effects.
• No mouth sores so far this week. YIPEEE!!! Last week's is healed and gone.
• No joint pain, as of yet.
• Eyes are still watering
• Hair situation - I still think the hair that's there is growing but it's not quite filling in yet. I'll keep you posted. ;-)

Thanks to everyone who checks in via FB or text. With the exception of treatment, I don't really leave the house much. Bobby does his best to get me out for a short trip for ice cream or something (he's awesome, by the way, have I mentioned that?) just to get me a change of scenery. It's nice to hear from friends and family from time to time. **Please don't take the reference about not leaving the house as a negative. I love it here. It makes me happy and I feel at ease. I think of it like a resort. It's quiet, I have my furbabies to hang out with, I spend time sitting on the patio, reading (when awake), I walk the driveway to make sure I keep moving per dr orders.  My immune system situation has been OK so far but my deep need for no treatment delays keeps us as cautious as we can be. So far, so good! Plus, there's not a lot of opportunity to get out when you're sleeping for several days...well you know the story.

Well, it's time for me to go back to sleep for a few more hours. 

Love to all!

Andee

Time to hibernate

No sleep 'til...

This will likely happen to me sometime today. 

Didn't get to sleep until after 4 and up by 7. I'm going to take care of some chores and then, if I'm still vertical, I will post some updates. For my folks that follow via FB and are interested in any posts, you may want to check back later from the main page. I prefer not to post multiple post links and clog up the news feed. Remember, you can always follow a post link and then click the blog title banner and that will take you to the main page and the full list of posts.

Love to all,

Andee

Yes, I'm awake and not happy about it

The good news is that I was  able to sleep for a couple of hours when I got home - I think I can thank the Benadryl fog for that. Now, I assume the Benadryl has worn off and the steroids remain. So here I am, tired and unable to sleep.

You will be tested

Good evening friends. I thought I would post a quick update before heading to bed. Pretty good day today but it was not without it's challenges. Nothing major, just a little reminder that there will always be something that could test your mood and your attitude. That said, let's talk about ports again.

Port-A-Cath

So, you all know I had a port surgically implanted in May. You might be wondering what the heck it is, what does it look like and how does it work. Well, I'm here to help. I posted a diagram previously (I think) but I will provide some additional information here. Ready?

So here's what it looks like all by itself.

This lovely little critter was implanted on my chest, just under the skin a couple of inches down from my collar bone on the right side. The little tube you see runs from the port into a nice juicy vein. Here's another diagram to show you how that works.

You can easily see the port as a raised area on my chest and you can also see the tube through the skin near my collar bone. It's not the most pleasant thing to look at but it's not nightmarish either. It is MUCH better than being stuck in the arm or having to deal with multiple sticks to find a good vein for a traditional IV. If you are going to go through treatment, I highly recommend getting a port. They can do your blood draws and administer meds all after a single, almost always successful, stick. It's the way to go. So, how do they access this little medical marvel? I shall show you. I will try to use diagrams rather than pics wherever I can just in case anyone is a little squeamish about needles. Here is the first...

This is what I get stuck with every week. Yes, it can hurt but it usually doesn't because my Oncologist was kind enough to prescribe numbing cream. Prior to each treatment, I, or one of my treatment buddies, take a huge dollop of cream and slather it over the port site then cover it with Press N Seal...yes, the stuff you buy at the grocery store. It was a tip from one of my nurses and it sure helps to keep that gunk off of clothes, seatbelts...everything. 

So the point of covering all of this is to give you an idea what's involved so I can talk about today's test. I had a bit of a brain cramp this morning and was working under the belief that I had a good amount of time for my numbing cream to start working. In round one I had a visit with my Oncologist prior to each infusion. Now that I'm going weekly, I will continue to see him every 2 weeks so that means no visit with the doc today - straight on in for infusion. So, basically, I didn't get the normal amount of time for the numbing cream to work. That hit me as we hit the road this morning. I didn't panic because it only lasts for a second and I've definitely experienced worse pain than a stick in the chest with a large needle to it's all relative, right? Plus, since I knew it was coming I was able to mentally prepare. When the time came, it did hurt a bit but I didn't even flinch. Woot woot!  

Let me rewind a little and point out that before they insert the needle they (obviously) have to clean off the big blob of cream from the port site. So remember, I wasn't all the way numb to begin with and THEN the cream was removed, I was plugged in for blood draw, pre-meds and then an hour long Tax infusion. Needless to say there was little or no numbness by the time it was over. 

The typical removal process includes the nurse reminding me to take a deep breath, she squeezes the little butterfly wings at the top of the needle and pulls that bad boy out. Today I took the deep breath and she pulled it out and that crap HURT! I'm not sure what happened but not only did I feel a good amount of discomfort (pain), I bled quite a bit too. I hardly ever bleed. It was sore for a while after and this evening I noticed that I appear to have a bruise on the site. So there's my test for the day - it just so happened that on the day I failed miserably on my numbing cream application, I had a needle removal malfunction. I'm happy to say that I'm fine and I'm still smiling and dancing. It's just another experience on this journey that will keep me on my toes and a story I can tell that will, hopefully, help someone who will be going through treatment in the future. Not every day is perfect but you'll get through it. Just do your best to prepare and push on!

I have more updates but I'm going to get some sleep. 

Love to all!

Andee

Labs are ok

So here comes the juice!

Reconnected!

A bad wire has been fixed so I'm back online. I'm going to try to crank out some much needed posts this evening because I have an appointment with "The New Juice" early tomorrow morning.

So many updates, so little time

I couldn't stand it. I have to provide a few updates so I'm using my phone as a hotspot so I can provide some sort of update and then get some sleep. The things I do to stay connected with my blog family!

Side Effects

So, I provided a list of side effects for this round and I am going to go into more detail on some of them but first, I have to add to the list. I know!!! Crazy, right? 

• Watery eyes...I mean REALLY watery eyes - this one has actually been around since round 1 but I kept forgetting to mention. (If I have, in fact, mentioned, it's a chemo brain thing and I've forgotten. Just act as if this is the first time you've heard this and we'll carry on as if all is normal.  Thanks)  During round 1, it was a side effect (we think) of Cytoxan (sounds like a pesticide or something, doesn't it?). My family can attest to the fact that they water a lot. It looks like I'm crying it's so bad. I was hoping it would go away with the round 1 drugs but, so far, no such luck. 
• Mouth sores - it hasn't been bad but I did get my first mouth sore. It's about 60% healed now so I'm good. If I get anymore I'll mention it to the doc but I'm paying close attention to caring for the ol' teeth, gums and mouth. 
• I have invented a new kind of tan. I don't have a "farmer's tan", I have a "I just sit in a chair outside, when I can, to watch the kids play and get some air so my hands and feet (with flip flop lines) are really really dark" tan. My hands are so dark that they look dirty so I actually looked it up as a side effect...and it looks like it's a thing. I sit in the shade as much as I can and if it's too hot I come in so it makes no sense that my hands are as dark as they are. I'll have to see if a pic can do them justice. It's kinda freakish...and I'm just groovy like that.  

It's still early yet but...

I think I might be growing some hair. Ha! It's hard to tell when you start with peach fuzz and there is a VERY long way to go but I'm pretty sure there's something happening up there. 4 months ago my hair was long (beyond shoulder blades long) and thick. Who could have imagined I would look at pictures like these...

hairstylespopular.com/

hairstylespopular.com

I really like this one!!

.

Love this for when it gets LONG. LOL

and think they are really long. Technically, everything is long compared to what I have now. I can honestly say that it's liberating. Everyone should shave their head at least once in their life. I will go on record and say that I only my kids and my niece have seen the chrome dome. I'll be writing a post all about hair but just know that it has nothing to do with vanity. It's a loathing of anything that screams "Hey, she's sick" when I don't consider myself sick. More on that later...and yes, I will be sharing pics eventually.  :-) How's that for a reason to keep coming back?!

It's way past my bedtime y'all. Back tomorrow!

Love to all,

Andee

Hi, my name is Andrea.

Yes, it's really me. You might remember me, I used to write posts on this blog. ;-)
I am happy to report that I have come out of last week's treatment haze with just 2 days of semi-normal to go before we start all over again. I'm remaining optiomistic that the fatigue situation will improve, however, I'm reminding myself that it's only 12 weeks so I can suffer through regardless, right?! 

We are having internet issues (don't get me started) so I'm posting this from my phone. Tech is supposed to be here tomorrow morning so I'm hoping they can fix the problem and I can catch up on some posts before I enter treatment haze again. :-)

Love to all,

Andee

Fatigue has NOT yet left the building

After getting through the period of being amped up on steroids I'm back to being exhausted. So far, here's what I've been experiencing with this round.  More detail later. 

Benadryl fog

Restlessness from steroids

Mild to moderate nausea but better than round one - fewer meds to control. 

Achy joints (new)

Defective taste buds

Intermittent mild neuropathy 

Fatigue, fatigue, fatigue. 

Sleep, glorious sleep!

FINALLY!
I guess the 'roids have made their exit because I was able to sleep. Yes I'm just getting up and it's time for lunch. Still could sleep a bit more so I'm sure there will be a nap. Gotta eat something.
Later friends!!

Love to all,
Andee

Scratch that...can't get back to sleep

I am still awake and trying to be productive. I'm working on a organization plan so that  may put me to sleep in not time. I'll be back to post later.

Short night so back to bed

Sooooo, I was restless for a while longer after my post and didn't fall asleep until after 3:30 AM. Up at 7 for a protein drink and some meds (and this post) and then back to bed for a bit.  I'm obviously tired but still not the feeling the mega-fatigue that I'm used to from round one. Let's hope it stays that way.

Source: APlaceToLoveDogs.com

I'll post and update later and, if I'm really really awake, I'll try to catch up on some more RRT posts.

Nighty 'night!

Love to all,

Andee

Darn you, steroids

Since it's after midnight I guess that I'm, technically, starting a new day. Wait, maybe it's more like a new day has started...I really won't start a new one until I actually go to sleep then wake up and THEN I'll be starting a new day. I'm exhausted but, once again, my steroids are messing with me. Last time this only happened on the first night so I'm staying positive BUT I'm still tired.

So far the fatigue hasn't hit like it did with the first round of medications. Yipee! I know it is still early yet so things could change. As I've said before, I can handle a manageable level of fatigue. I'm just hoping that I don't sleep for 5 days, wake for 2 and then start all over. I have faith that this will NOT be the case and that I can resume some sort of normal function over the next 12 weeks.

I'm hearing rumbles of thunder outside so I'm going to shut down and try to get some sleep. 

Thank you, as always, for your continued messages of love and support. You'll never know how much it helps.

Love to all,

Andee

Oh wait, here's the updated tracker for those still playing along at home.

All done!

After a full day at the hospital. All done and off to get lunch. Then we will see what the side effects will be with this round. Stay tuned. 

1 down, 11 to go. 

30 minutes to go...

And all is well. 

Rebels!

Here we go

The new juice is flowing!

The big city has its advantages

As you already know, I'm receiving today's infusion in Lexington. I'm on the hospital campus in case of a reaction. I love my crew in Richmond but in the last 30 minutes I've been offered a beverage, snacks , lunch (later) and just received a hand massage. I will be taking a list back to Richmond next week. :-)

Treatment update. Blood work was acceptable. Pre-meds are flowing. Updates soon. 

It's Monday night...

...it's time to wash my hair. 

;-)

It's time for the new juice

In less than 24 hours I start round 2. Glad the A/C round is over because I ended up having the worst side effect experience with the last round. Crazy, right? I know it's still mild compared to what others have experienced so I won't complain...much.
I'm not sure what the impact will be this time around with the new drug so I'm stopping by to say hello now. Doc says fatigue may still be the worst part. I hope I don't sleep as much as with round 1 because it will be a long 3 months if I sleep 5 days out of 7 and then get hit with the juice again. I have a small stock of B6 so I'll do what I can to be normal...well, not normal in the normal people sense of normal since I've never been that...but functioning normal. I'd like to be conscious for more than a week at a time.
I may be back later for a RRT post but, just in case, TTFN (ta ta for now), say a prayer and wish me luck tomorrow.

Love to all
Andee

Always Something There To Remind Me

This is another one of those posts that's meant to help/prepare someone who is facing this adventure. I was getting ready this morning and, as I looked around the bathroom, it hit me. There is always something around to remind you that you are living through something - diagnosis, treatment, side effects, and any number of things that could really make your day a bummer. My guidance to you is to not let the negatives and/or any reminders take over your thoughts. For me, there seems to be something in every room that tries to ruin my mood. I just acknowledge it and then replace the thought about whatever it is with one simple thing - this too shall pass. Sure, there are aspects of this that will follow me for years and some for the rest of my life. I've just accepted that it's a new life and those things will work in and I'll live as "normal" a life as I ever have.
So, what kinds of things am I talking about? Let's travel through my house and a typical morning and just a few of the things that scream "HEY! You are being treated for BREAST CANCER and don't you forget it."

• Reflection - I wake in the morning to Uncle Fester looking back at me in the mirror. Hey Ugly!
• Skin Care - I wash my face and try not to scrub too hard just in case my eyebrows decide to fall out.  ;-)  (don't get me started on the eyebrows)
• Biotene - I brush and rinse with Biotene products because chemo can do ugly things to your mouth. I also use a nice semi-soft toothbrush because you don't want anything that will make your gums bleed or otherwise irritate your mouth.
• Make-up - Extra concealer is needed to cover the circles under my eyes. You tend to pay a little more attention to your makeup when you're trying to draw attention away from other stuff. 
• Hair - It feels like there's fake hair in every room of my house. In reality, there is not but you can't go far without coming across some hair (unless of course it's on my head) or a hat. There ARE hats all around.

Let's move out of the powder room and into the bedroom.

• Lingerie drawer - Bras, there are still bras in the drawer. I'm really not sure why. I was going to have a bra burning, wasn't I? On a couple of occasions I have come across one and said to myself "What is tha....oh yeah, I used to need those...not so much anymore."
• Pill bottles - If I have any pill junkies reading the blog, don't get excited, I have nothing "good". But the bottles are there saying "Don't forget me or you'll be puking!!"
• EOBs- on my desk, I'm building a great wall from the EOBs I receive from the insurance company. They've slowed down a lot but at one point they had to send them in a large flat envelope. You know it's serious when that happens.

Kitchen

• Water, water everywhere!
• Protein drinks & Instant Breakfast
• Treatment calendar on the fridge
• Cancer care team contact information magnet on the fridge

You get the idea. Let me say that NONE of this stuff depresses me. My point is that it can be tough if you let it. Stay positive, remember it's only temporary and focus on your recovery and all of the wonderful things ahead.

The Really Real Truth - The Blue Stuff, Diaper Rash & Swelling

The Blue Stuff

Let's travel back in time a bit. Come along, if you will, to mid-April 2014. The items I'll cover in this post were very fresh on my mind at that time - remember, my surgery was 4/15/14. So let's get into the really real truth...
What the heck is The Blue Stuff? Honestly, I don't have any idea. Well, wait...I have an idea what it was for I just don't know the name. I guess I could research it like everything else but not right now. I'll get back to you...or if any of my doctor or nurse friends know, feel free to chime in! So, back to The Blue Stuff. If you've been a blog follower since the beginning, you will recall that I decided to let my SPECTACULAR surgeon have the honor of removing my bandages at my post-op appointment. You would think (at least I did) that I would have been wrapped and bound like crazy but that was not the case. I had relatively small gauze and tape arrangement for each incision. I know what you're thinking..."Well, duh! At that point there wasn't much that needed covering sister!" And you would be correct. The dressings simply had to cover the incisions and though both are lengthy, they aren't that wide so it didn't take much. Anyway, even though bandages covered the incisions I could obviously see the area that was prepped for surgery. When I was finally able to look in the mirror I was surprised to find a Smurf. I was blue from neck to ribs. Alrighty then. I'm sure it was used to help sterilize and prep the area and I'm sure that the blue helps the applicator to be sure that they've covered the area. (Feel free to correct me if I'm wrong) Whatever this stuff is, it does not just wipe off. I scrubbed as best I could but it took a while to get it off because I was a bit sore. Wait, is bruising on my list of topics??? If not, it needs to be.

Sorry, that happens from time to time. Now back on topic - Blue Stuff. I am not exaggerating when I say that it took a very long time to find and remove all of the blue stuff. My range of motion wasn't the best at the beginning so as I was able to move a little more and raise my arms, I was finding blue stuff in new and not so exciting places. An added "bonus" for me is that though I have a weird tolerance for pain and pretty quick recovery times, I have very sensitive skin. All together now "AWWWWWWW, poor baby." I know, right! So, you guessed it, I had an adverse reaction, very early on, to The Blue Stuff. I had, what I referred to, as Elephant Ankle Neck for several days. It was as lovely as you imagine it. 

It was swollen, itchy and not the least bit attractive. I continued to try to scrub it away, turned several washcloths blue and even resorted to alcohol swabs at one point. After a few days of scrubbing and a little Benadryl, the worst was over...for my neck anyway. That was the site of the worst reaction but there was a bit of ongoing irritation in the other locations. 

Lesson - if you have sensitive skin, be aware!

Diaper Rash

Now we shall move on to Diaper Rash. No, this is not going to be disgusting post about actual diaper rash. This was the term my FABULOUS surgeon used to describe the area of my incisions several days after surgery. I doubt this happens with ladies who are able to have reconstruction at the time of their mastectomy but I could be wrong. Those of us who have to wait get to deal with this type of thing. I'll try to keep this as not gross as possible so let's just say that the general surgeon has to leave the plastic surgeon something to work with...got me? Ya know, skin. When they warned me of this at our surgery consultation, I found this most troubling. Yes, I know. It's totally stupid. We're talking about cancer and removal of both my breasts and I only get weirded out by a conversation about skin. 

I had visions of...well I won't go there but I'm happy to report that it wasn't as bad as I expected. At some point I'll share the description that my PT told me one of her other patients gave of her incisions. It's pretty spot on but I'll spare you for today.  Anyway, as you might have figured out by now, the area around the incisions got a little irritated. Luckily, with surgery came numbness (is that on the list? it needs to be) so there was no discomfort. Couldn't feel a thing! The tip here is that you can have a rash and if you do, get some baby powder. Surgeon's suggestion and it helped.

Swelling

On to swelling. I've already covered this in a couple of posts but it's worth mentioning again. Especially for those of you who are having surgery or know someone who is having it. There were two causes for swelling in my recovery. The first was fluid build up after the drains were removed (are drains on the list? they should be). That was CRAZY! The other cause was/is scar tissue. My advise here is don't suffer with either - get some relief!!! For the fluid build up, go for aspiration. Yes the needle and syringe are large BUT you'll likely be numb and feel nothing. That was my experience. They give you a numbing shot before they break out the Big Daddy so that helps too. I only had to go for aspiration once but I've heard of women having to go back regularly for a while. My feeling was that I would rather go for aspiration every week or two than to have kept my drains. There are multiple reasons why, which I will cover in the Drains post. For scar tissue, if you have it, I highly recommend finding someone who does ASTYM. I mentioned this in my PT post but I cannot tell you how much it has helped. We discussed at my last session that we should have taken before and after pics. My swelling has gone down a lot...and I mean a lot! Do not suffer ladies!! I asked and even those who have already had their reconstruction can have ASTYM so don't suffer with scar tissue...please, please, please!!

So there it is. If you have questions about any of the topics covered here, as always, just ask.

It's officially official, I'm not as bad@$$ as I thought I was

Sometimes life likes to remind me that I am not in control of everything. Yes, as a matter of fact, I do forget that from time to time. I ended up quite ill today for the first time during treatment. It was not a good time there for a while. Thankfully my folks arrived an saved the day. They watched the kiddos while I took it easy. Lessons for the day - support is key and know your limits. 

Back later. 

Really Real Truth Posts Are Coming!

I'm not sure how many of my readers are breast cancer patients or know someone who is but I feel that I have dropped the ball on an important part of the site. My goal, in addition to providing myself with free therapy and to share a laugh or two, was to help those who are traveling a similar path. That means I need to get back to the Really Real Truth entries. I provided a list of subjects back in May and have failed miserably in writing the posts. Since I'm awake and capable, I'm going to catch up! If you're interested in this kind of crazy stuff, then you will be thrilled! I'm going to crank these things out. If you are not interested, you should probably check out that decorating, furniture refinishing or organizing blog...maybe Pinterest. I can suggest some really good ones because I LOVE  that stuff.
If you have questions about anything BC related or would like me to post about a particular subject, please post a comment or send a message via the Contact Me option. If I haven't been through it, I'm not afraid to research or ask my fabulous medical team.

Gotta run...have some writing to do...

Guestbook

I've been meaning to say something for a while...

For those of you who have written something in the Guestbook - THANK YOU!! I love comments and messages - I read them all! There are a days that I'm not quite as perky as others so your messages, comments and support always give me the lift I need to snap out of whatever funk I'm in.

You gotta believe!

USA Soccer! I believe that we will win! 
Click to watch a very cool video!

Ready for a new post?

I am...but my laptop is at the other end  of the house and I don't feel like typing a full post from my Kindle. Just call me lazy. 

Stay tuned!