We would love for you to join the party

Thanks to Jacklyn Evans and her partners in crime (David, Chris, Chad, Fred) for showing their love and support. I'm humbled.  I hope to be at the race and I envision tutus...just sayin'....


A message from Lady Evans....

en·tou·rage
noun"a group of people attending or surrounding an important person". Hello All! One of my dearest, sweet friends was diagnosed with Breast Cancer this year. Andrea Doolin is currently undergoing treatment and battling cancer like a champ. She never complains, never doubts and keeps a positive mindset. She is truly an inspiration and some of her friends wanted to get together to support her in her Journey. We have started the team, "Andrea's Entourage" and will walk/run in the Lexington KY, Susan G. Komen Race for the Cure on October 4th. Please help me support Andrea by joining our team or simply donating a few dollars. Every little bit helps!


http://lexington.info-komen.org/site/TR/RacefortheCure/LEX_LexingtonAffiliate?pg=team&fr_id=4665&team_id=302497

Lots of sleep and then, not so much

I'm still here. This round of chemo resulted in a lot of sleep right up until Sunday. I pushed through the day (barely) and then suffered through a pretty restless and crappy night. I''m hoping to get some sleep now or it's going to be a long day. 

Back soon  enough. 

Love to all, 

Andee

This may be long (If I can stay awake)

Aaaand I'm done

I did it! I finished round one of chemotherapy today. WOOHOO!!!  Dance with me!!  I'm feeling good - started my nausea meds yesterday, as usual. I continue to be amazed by the fact that the fatigue seems to set in earlier and earlier with each treatment. Today I was in bed within a couple of hours of being home and I slept until after 6. Bobby woke me for dinner. 

Since I completed the first step in the process, it's time to up date the tracker.  

Now let's transition into today's clinic visit. What an interesting day it was. I had a lengthy chat with both the doc and his nurse (separately). First let's breakdown the information on the next round of treatment. I will be changing up my drug cocktail for this round so we get to say GOODBYE to The Red Devil.

Chemotherapy - Round 2

So, speaking of The Red Devil, I thought this one was going to be the worst of the drugs I would be taking. Tax (abbreviation) comes next. I heard it was "easier" and that's why it can be given weekly instead of every 2 or 3 weeks. OK, that sounded good to me. Then, in the same conversation I was told that the first dose needs to administered on the hospital campus in Lexington.
Wait...what?!?
Well, they said, there's a chance of a reaction and we like to have you close to the hospital facility.
Wait...what?!?
The details, up to now, had been sketchy so I asked my nurse about the gory details. She said there is more of a risk of a reaction - more details please - well, shortness of breath, increased heart rate, increased blood pressure, that type of thing. It's just important that I be there and I should be OK but we'll have access to the hospital's Rapid Response Team, if needed.
Wait...what?!?
This is quickly increasing my anxiety about it this particular infusion session. THEN, one of the other nurses says "if the nurse doing your infusions seems nervous, tell her to hold up."
Wait...what?!?
My medical team, who has thus far been stellar, is going to be nervous?? Holy crap! Nurses are always in the know because they are in the details and the day to day so, I have to admit, this raised the needle on my Weird-Out-O-Meter.  When I talked to the doc he said, "Tax is easier, side effects are less but fatigue will continue to be an issue. We'll get the first dose out of the way and you're going to do great." I'm going with that plan. Keeping my attitude up and thinking positive. I'll take any prayers and positive thoughts you can spare. I know I ask for a lot but I could use the support through dose #1 (July 8 for anyone who's playing along at home).

Flattered and Broken Hearted All At Once 

Let me start by saying that no privacy breaches occurred during the conversations referenced below. They didn't share any details about the other patient and they advised that they did not share details about me with the other patient. Of course, as you've probably guessed by now, I told the doctor and the nurse they could share the blog or, if they thought it would help anyone else, I would be happy to talk to anyone who was interested. Now, on to our story.

I had a great chat with my doctor's nurse today. She asked how I had been doing and answered a lot of my questions about Tax. She then proceeds to tell me that she used me as an example last week. She said that she met with a woman last week who had been diagnosed @ age 38. She didn't share details about stage or anything else, but she did say that they had recommended the same course of treatment that I'm going through and she was basically refusing. From what I could tell at that point, she was made aware of the risks and side effects and she was going to refuse treatment. Let me go ahead and put a disclaimer here. Though I do not understand this decision, I do not judge. Everyone has to take their own path but even with very limited information, this made  me very sad. There will be more info provided during the recap of my discussion with my doctor. Now back to our story. She said she mentioned me and told her (these are her words not mine) that I was going through the treatment and I always "bounce" in with a smile on my face, that the side effects had been manageable and I was functioning pretty well considering. Not sure if she told her I sleep for days on end but whatever works.  Now, remember, I don't know any contributing factors for this patient - here just a few things I don't know...

• Has she had surgery yet
• If so, lumpectomy or mastectomy?
• Staging
• Have body scans been completed?
• If so, is it anywhere else?
• Is she married?
• Does she have children or want to have children?
• Family history?
• Does she know someone who had a horrible experience with chemo side effects?

There is SO much that can impact your choices. 

So a while later, my doctor comes in the room. When he arrived I was playing Fairway Solitaire (I have a problem) and he walks in and says, "Hi Andrea, what are you playing and are you winning?"  :-) We talked for a minute about the game and then moved on to business. He asked how I was doing and I believe I replied with, "Just fabulous, how the heck are you doing?" He said fine. He moved on to the standard questions he asks on each visit. 

• Do you need any refills on anything?
• How are you feeling? Have you been sick?
• Are you keeping active at home (translation, I'm asking if you are laying around being pitiful or doing what you can between treatments - and sleeping - because he does not want you curling up in a ball and giving up. No worries here!

We then briefly talked about Tax but he quickly moved on to tell me that he, too, had mentioned me to another patient. Mind you, they don't see patients together so this poor gal had to hear about me twice in one day. She doesn't even know who I am but I'm wondering what her reaction might have been. Was she thinking, "Well good for her! (with sarcasm)" or "Really?"  He said he told her I was tolerating treatment well, had a positive attitude and always had a smile on my face. Anyway, he proceeds to explain the situation a bit more. He said he suggested the same course of treatment for her that I'm on and she basically said that she loved her hair and nails, couldn't imagine losing her hair and was going to refuse treatment.  He seemed genuinely concerned about this patient and her decision. That tells me (without him stating it) that he feels like she really needs the treatment.  Another disclaimer here. This is where I have a really hard time. The hair will grow back...the loss is temporary. I cannot seem to wrap my mind around valuing my hair more than decreasing the risk of a recurrence, or worse! Remember, both the doc and I know that everyone is impacted very differently so, like Gabriel and our micro-preemie experience, we can be used as examples/success stories but we are not the norm. It's a very tough position to be in. I could go on about my feelings of guilt when it comes to the preemie thing but that's for one of the other blogs. Anyway, my doctor said it was so tough because he could have 5 people with the same diagnosis, give them all the same drug cocktails and all 5 would react completely differently. He said he thought that factors like age and genetics could play roles there but he continues to say that attitude seems to make a huge difference. 

This post has gone way long and my eyes are heavy but here's the point here. I've used a concept I borrowed from LeanIn in work situations and I feel like it applies to this situation as well. The concept is, "Don't leave before you leave." What the heck does that mean, you ask? The LeanIn example is that in the professional world when women decide to start a family, they sometimes tend to start making decisions based on what they will do...possibly years down the road. They don't pursue promotions or additional responsibility because they think they will walk away or have to less responsibility when they MAYBE have a family SOMETIME in the future. I've also used the concept in talking with people I knew weren't happy in their current work situation. It's fine if you decide that what you're doing now isn't the right fit for you. By all means, look for something else BUT as long as you're here, be here. Don't leave before you leave. Work hard and do your best while you're here, you'll feel better about yourself, you'll likely leave on good terms...I know...blah blah blah. But the point with regard to the story above is give yourself a chance. Everyone has the strength within them and it's a choice. A diagnosis is not an automatic death sentence and there are worse things than losing your hair and having soft fingernails. There is so much in this world to live for and to fight for. Don't leave before you leave - take control of what you can control and don't give up.
Reminder, I do not know this woman, I know nothing about her attitude, her history, her medical situation...anything BUT it saddens me to think that someone so young is not taking the bull by the horns and fighting.  Again, please don't leave hateful comments saying that everyone can make their own choice and not everything that seems right for one is right for another BECAUSE I AGREE.  My point is that it just saddens me. Does that make sense?

Feel free to leave comments below, if you wish. 

Love to all,

Andee

If you really want to know

Believe it or not, there are details that I do not include on the blog. Some things qualify as TMI as far as the blog is concerned. I'm sure you appreciate my ability to edit myself. Just because I don't post those details, it doesn't mean that I'm not willing to share. If you or someone you know has been diagnosed and is facing surgery or treatment, I'm here to share all of the relevant details. It's a crazy journey and everything can move very quickly - for me the the time between diagnosis and bilateral mastectomy was less than 2 1/2 weeks. There are some big decisions to be made during that time and information you need in order to make those decisions. It's also nice to hear from others who have experience. My fellow "pink ladies" have a been a great source of information, comfort and support for me. Sadly it doesn't take to long to become an old pro. Just a reminder, everyone's experience is different but, my suggestion is to gather as much information as you can so you have an idea of what the worst case scenario could be. Prepare for the worst and hope for the best.
So if you or someone you know is headed down a similar road and wants some info, feel free to point them to the blog or they can contact me directly.

Can it be here already?

Friends, this week we will mark a significant milestone. It's now been 3 months and 6 days since "Lump Day" and on Wednesday I will have the last treatment in round one.

Woohoo! 

This round of 4 treatments began on May 14 and the fourth and final session is Wednesday morning. I will be so happy to mark an entire section off the treatment plan.  The next round will start in a couple of weeks and will consist of 12 weekly treatments. I'm interested to see how this one is going to go. 12 weeks...deep breath....12 weeks....I can do this! This will be the lengthiest of the 3 rounds - it will not include the most sessions, the duration will be the longest. After this I move on to 33 radiation treatments but those will happen every weekday until complete. 

Today and tomorrow I will be spending quality time with my children before they are whisked away for a weekend of fun while Mommy sleeps.  

Progress, friends...progress!!

I'm pretty sure I look like a celebrity!

This is going to be one of those "I'm not Wonder Woman/I'm not immune/The Really Real Truth" kind of posts. Let me start by saying that I was prepared for my modified body, going bald...all of that stuff.  It's just hair and I can wear a wig. I can wear falsies...I haven't yet but I can. I typically get up and put on makeup because it makes me look better.  What you cannot really prepare for is when you take these things and add the other effects - pale skin, dark circles. Yep you guessed it, you wake up one morning, au naturale, and you gaze at yourself in the mirror and realize that you look very much like this guy...

That is NOT an image you want in your head...especially when it comes to your own reflection. Yes, friends, The Uglies have hit! I told a friend the other day that I feel fine but if you saw me without makeup, hair, etc, you would think I looked sick. You have NO idea how much that irks me. I...AM...NOT...SICK!! So if you see me and I look like I'm wearing 1/4 inch of makeup, know that it's simply to cover those annoying dark circles. 

As much as I hate it I do know that this too shall pass. 

Now, let's have a laugh!  Another one for Bobby.  lol

Things I'd love to eat but am afraid chemo will forever ruin

We have established the fact that my taste buds are a complete train wreck. I'm mentally craving so many things but I fear that chemo will forever ruin these particular things if I were to eat them now. This is some kind of torture. The items are listed in no particular order.

Beer Cheese Nachos from Saul Good

Photo from Yelp.com  Submitted by Ray H.

Kiwi Quencher from Tropical Smoothie Cafe

Malone's Salmon w/Asparagus


Sushi!!!!



Breakfast @ Cracker Barrel....what?! I didn't say it was healthy. We're talking comfort here, people!

From Yelp.com  - photo submitted by M.M.

Tomato & Basil Pesto Pizza

image from http://inthewabe.files.wordpress.com/2010/06/img_7956b.jpg

My own meatball sub...no shame here...

Stuffed peppers

I've got to stop here...I need to go to sleep or I'm going to head to the kitchen...

Love to all!!

Andee

Wonder Woman, I am not - ***work in progress***

I am a lot of things, but Wonder Woman, I am not. Yes, I laugh a lot and I carry on but I still have moments. I am human, after all. 

Let's catch up a bit, shall we?

She's awake

Yes, yes I am...well, for the moment anyway. Have I mentioned that this treatment thing makes you sleep? If you ever have to go through this fascinating process, get some comfy jammies, invest in a sleep hat (bald heads get cold, people) and sleep when your body tells you to. Yes, it does make "real life" a bit of a challenge but it's only temporary and your body tells you what you need so do your best to listen. That's Andee's Treatment Tip of the Day.

Taste Buds

Mine are a mess! This is another one of those side effects I knew would come but what I expected is so very different from the reality. I haven't really had a metallic taste in my mouth or anything weird like that. Things don't taste dramatically different, I basically just taste things or I don't. It's almost as if the taste buds get a little numb or dull. I was complaining about a lack a flavor in food the other day and Bobby suggested that I try a dill pickle spear. At the time, I passed. Tonight, however, I gave it a try. AHA! I could taste that thing for sure. Holy cow.  ha ha

My nurses told me not to eat a lot of things that I like because I will not like them when treatment is over. What's strange is that I've eaten things and they didn't taste bad at the time but I found that later, I had no desire for them. Weird, right? It didn't taste bad but the thought of eating it again was just not appealing. It hasn't happened with everything and I haven't figured out the pattern, if there is one. I can tell that you that rumors are true, chocolate is still good!

What is Chemo Brain, anyway?

Prior to my diagnosis, I wasn't really aware that this was a thing. There seems to be some debate among professionals as to whether this is solely a result of the treatment itself or a combination of treatment and stress, etc. Whatever it is, it seems pretty real to me. I've almost gotten a bit emotional on a couple of occasions because I've either forgotten what I was doing, or going to do, or I realized I'd said something silly.

 So what is it? The Mayo Clinic site says this...

Chemo brain is a common term used by cancer survivors to describe thinking and memory problems that can occur after cancer treatment.Chemo brain can also be called chemo fog, chemotherapy-related cognitive impairment or cognitive dysfunction.

Though chemo brain is a widely used term, it's misleading. It's unlikely that chemotherapy is the sole cause of concentration and memory problems in cancer survivors.

1. Despite the many questions, it's clear that the memory problems commonly called chemo brain can be a frustrating and debilitating side effect of cancer and its treatment. More study is needed to understand this condition.

It's just another one of the challenges presented in this journey. You just have to take a deep breath, be patient with yourself and remember that it's only temporary. A sense of humor certainly helps with this one. 

Hello Chemo Brain. I'm changing my name to Dory.

I am in one seriously wacky sleep cycle

Let me start by saying that I started this post in the 2 o'clock hour this morning. It was brief but I did it from my phone and somehow exited out and lost it. At that hour, I was not terribly interested in starting over so here I am again.
After yesterday's marathon sleep session I wasn't sure how the rest of the day would go. Would I be sleepy? Would I be awake for another 12 hours...or more?  Who knows what to expect with these crazy chemicals coursing through your veins. In my case, I was sleepy again by supper time. I was able to eat and make it until after 7PM before heading to bed.  I'm not sure what time exactly - not that anyone cares anyway.  But I slept until Bobby woke me for my 10 PM meds. We each had a bowl of cereal - nice quality time together - and then I headed back to bed. I thought I'd change things up a bit and turn on a movie and fall right to sleep. What movie did I choose? The Dark Knight Rises.


As you might guess, this was not a good choice if your goal is sleep. First, I'm a Christian Bale fan...just like him for some reason.  Also, the movie is good, the cast is good, heck, the series is good! I also like most of the movies Christopher Nolan makes...I was hooked at Memento. Don't get me started on Inception. I just love smart, somewhat complicated movies. Anyway, this movie is not a lullaby, nor is it boring, nor is it short....so several hours later, I was still awake. It may have been close to 3 AM by the time I got to sleep but I then slept in until almost 9 this morning. I could go back to bed right now but I'm trying to get close to a normal cycle again. I have a feeling I'll be taking a bit of a snooze after lunch today.

For now, I'm up and about. I'm dressed...like a slouch, but dressed. I have makeup on so I don't scare anyone and I've been enjoying time on the patio. The weather is LOVELY and the breeze is fabulous. Granny Bug and Papaw Bob (Bobby's parents, for the 3 people who may not know) are here and Bug is working on lunch. Mmmmmm!

I'll check in later. Enjoy your day, friends!

Love to all,
Andee

And then I slept for 12 hours

Yesterday I didn't get much sleep. I went to sleep last night after midnight, slept until my med alarm @ 6:30. Back to sleep by 7 and then woke up at....wait for it...1:00 PM!! I think that qualifies as rest. I had a quick breakfast sandwich (egg whites, cheese and spinach...thank you Jimmy Dean). Yummy. Then I filled up my tumbler with water and hit the treadmill for 20 minutes. Followed with a little stretching, crunches and reclining squats on the exercise ball. Now I'm a little hungry and a little ready to go back to bed. Chemo is the most bizarre thing EVER!

I only napped for an hour or so today...WHAT???

Do not be surprised if posts are delayed or non-existent tomorrow. I have been awake most of the day and this is certainly NOT normal for a day 1 post treatment situation. I am out of it. I'm going to sleep now and I will likely sleep right on through until my morning medication alarm. 

I wish everyone a restful night and I'll catch you later.

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Is it wrong to nap in the waiting room?

I have been awake since 7ish this morning. That probably doesn't sound like a big deal to you but on a post treatment day, that's borderline miraculous. That said, I'm at the clinic to get my Neulasta shot, which was scheduled for 2 PM, and I'm waiting. It's getting hard to hold my eyes open. Before I start getting nasty comments, my daddy drove me so there are no worries about me falling asleep at the wheel. 

 Hopefully they'll call me back soon, jab me with the needle and send me on my way. My bed is calling my name!

Feeling sassy!

Got myself up out of bed and spent 20 minutes on the treadmill...and Bobby didn't even have to call and tell me to get up and get moving. The blood is flowing so I might as well do a little toning. Pilates or workout ball...maybe Pilates workout ball!  Lol

Whoa

Andee Pandee is one tired bear this morning. I'm up to eat a Belvita and slam some water and I can barely keep my eyes open.  During my 2 AM wake cycle, which I had planned to be brief, our internet went down so I spent too much time working on that only to finally call and get a message that our provider would be upgrading equipment between midnight and 5 AM so I might experience outages. Gee thanks!  At that  point I gave up and went back to sleep. Then it was up again a 5:30 and again at 7. I'm still groggy so I'll try to go back to sleep until my next med alarm at 10.

Have a most happy Thursday  everyone!
Love to all!
Andee

Treatment Tracker - For those keeping score

Conflict

Steroids are not my favorite thing. I consider myself blessed that I don't have to take them pre- or post-treatment. They were on my med list but there was some snafu with the Rx so at the last minute the doc decided I could do without. That means I just get them during infusion but they mess with me on treatment day. I feel sleepy but I have trouble settling down. I think I'm on the verge of sleep now but I had to post the picture because it made me giggle. I have a med alarm in a few hours so I'm going to turn on something soothing to occupy my brain and try to catch some Zs.

Love to all,
Andee

Truth

A little infusion room humor

One of my nurses got a little distracted while talking to my treatment buddies and tugged on my line...it's attached to my chest, ya know.  It wasn't really painful, I just leaned in and didn't say anything but I had a hard time not laughing because this is all kept seeing in my head.  It's fun in there!  LOL

Guess what day it is

Guess what day it is!!

Uh...well, yes...that too...but I was referring to the fact that it is

Friends, today I go for treatment #3!! That means only one more to go (after this one) and then I can say I have completed round 1. 

Yes,it's a small step considering that I have 40+ treatments of one kind or another yet to come but I have to take it all in in manageable pieces..remember?   Stay with me, people and go ahead and give me that  WOOT WOOT, will ya?!?

I think I'm taking my laptop with me today but I'm not sure I'll be able to post. My treatment buddies and I tend to chat it up and generally cause (fun) disruption in the infusion area. We try to spread the joy. That said, I'm pretty sure that last week was the last time they're going to put us in a double room...the poor girl there for her treatment wasn't quite sure what to make of us. We were respectful, of course, but we laugh a lot. That's just how we roll. 

Well, I must go pack my chemo fun bag. EMLA cream, water, snacks, research study stuff and all of my digital devices to keep me connected to the outside world. 

I'm almost there so DANCE!!!

Life...

I really like this one...I'm not exactly sure why but I do...so there.   ;-)

Who wants to go first?

Getting ready to do what he does.

I'm pretty sure that is incorrect...

A Cinderella story...

Hey buddy!!

Post Under Construction: Hair

Now it's time to fight some fatigue!

If you are a regular follower, you already know that the worst part of chemo, for me, has been the fatigue.

I'm halfway through the "tough" round and the doctors and my fellow pink ladies agree on one thing...you feel it more with the second treatment. It wasn't necessarily worse the second time around but the fatigue was a bit more intense (more sleeping) and it has lasted most of this cycle. Ugh! I can't take 3+ hour naps everyday. It's counterproductive! So today I'm going to take some B6, do some Pilates and then spend the day with my children. Yes, I've kept them home because it's summer break and that's what "normal" people do. I'm so blessed to have the days I have with them. It saddens me a little to know that I'll get 2 days and then go to bed for 5 but I'm also blessed to have wonderful, supportive parents who will take over and keep the kids active, engaged and entertained while I'm doing my Sleeping Beauty impression.
The fact that the kids will be home has given me a bit of a lift for another reason - I get to organize and plan!!! If you know me, you know that this is a wonderful thing! I'm working on a (very loose) daily agenda which will include physical activity, arts & crafts, learning something new and keeping up on school skills!
Today's Silver Lining - sometimes your biggest blessings come wrapped in some ugly packaging (AKA cancer)

I have several posts I need to complete before the treatment train hits so I will go ahead and apologize for the number of posts to come.   :-)

Love to all!
Andee

So, what's the plan?

I'm not sure if I've bothered to share the treatment details. I mentioned the other day that the plan would take us through the remainder of 2014. I also mentioned that it's best for me to break that plan down into pieces to make it more manageable...'cause it's a lot. As a result, I made myself a simple little chart so I could track the progress and celebrate the milestones. Then I thought, "Why not share it with our blog friends."  I KNOW you are currently excited beyond all belief...you're welcome.
So, here it is (I didn't dress this thing up much so don't judge)....

See, I told you I had a long way to go. Next I'll share the detailed information on my chemo drugs - you're gonna LOVE this!

Love to all, 

Andee

It's Friday and I have a date...

...to kill some germs!

Once again the LD has fallen prey to some crazy curse. Our children have only had the occasional ear infection and a brief stomach virus or two. Guess when we are "lucky" enough to be hit with STREP?! Yep, while Mommy falls in the class of "immuno-compromised" people. You just have to laugh! Well, it's not funny for Mattie who typically fights off everything. Just weird how things happen. As always, we are doing all we can to keep everyone healthy and JKL (just keep livin'). Mattie is on meds and receiving excellent care - she's just about back to normal (that means talking...a lot...no, all the time).  I'm masked and gloved and putting Lysol and Clorox on everything I can and taking the steam mop to everything else. 

I called the doc's office today just to be safe and the nurse told me I'd done all the right things so far and if I get symptoms get to urgent care and get some meds. No need to hit the antibiotics as a preventative.  That's a plus. 

Well, my dance music is playing to I'm going to get back to The LD Friday Night Dance/Cleaning Party. I'll be back later.

Love to all!

Andee

We made it!!

I'm so unbelievably proud of this little guy. 

And I can't leave out my princess! She starts Kindergarten in August - where does the time go????

                               

"Where's Andee?" and "If this is a test, am I passing?"

Where's Andee?

We live a pretty normal, average, maybe boring life and we LOVE IT.   I've never been a party person and have no regrets about that. That said, I'm now experiencing, what I think of, as a series of "Lost Weekends". Treatment has been quite different than what I expected.  Any nausea is kept in check by my meds but the fatigue is serious. I have treatment on Wednesday, go to sleep on Thursday and wake up on Monday. That is an oversimplification, of course, because I do wake up to walk and eat but I sleep A LOT!! So if you hear crickets on the blog every other Thursday through Monday, you know why.   And yes, it does totally mess with your perception of time. I'm sitting here thinking, I have my third treatment a week from today - didn't I just have my second one??

If this is a test, am I passing?

As you might expect, I have a spent some time pondering how a cancer diagnosis has impacted my life, my faith, my attitude, my family and what type of person I'll be when I come out on the other side. Deep, right? People have commented on my attitude - I'm not sure what to say to those comments. I am who I am. I'm not trying to be a certain way, it's just me. It takes very little effort...trust me. Anyway, I started to think about the whole situation and what my attitude COULD be. Let's review...

• Past challenges (we won't list them again)
• Cancer diagnosis
• Treatment plan that will span the remainder of 2014
• Missed a charity event that is very dear to me due to treatment
• Missed NICU reunion that was very important to me due to treatment
• Missed my baby girl's first dance class (and probably all remaining classes for the semester) due to treatment
• I'm all bruises, scars and defective human parts
• All the things that make me feminine are currently MIA - wait, I have eyelashes!!
• I lose 10 days out of every month to sleep due to treatment and burden my husband and family with picking up all the things I drop
• I have a horrible memory (thanks Chemo Brain!)
• I miss my work family and feeling like I contribute to a greater good

Wow - that sounds kinda grim yet, I'm still happy. What in the wide world of sports is wrong with me? I should be angry, bitter, ticked off, I deserve pity, sympathy...OH WOE IS ME! NOPE!  I see how you might think that but let's check the other side of the ledger, shall we...

• I'm vertical and breathing
• My husband, against all logic, hugs me, kisses me and tells me he loves me every single day. He carries on each day and doesn't complain that I'm defective nor does he treat me like a sick person (that's good because I ain't sick!!).  I could write a book about my love for this man, his strength and his love for his family...but I won't embarrass him...not today, anyway.
• Though I might have chosen an easier road to get there, I'm getting to spend time with my family that I would not otherwise have been able to.
• Though I'm missing out on things now, I believe that better things are to come and the sacrifices I'm making now will lead to even more amazing things next year!
• I honestly feel like I'm going to come out of this like Steve Austin....better, stronger, faster

• My self image will only be better. I can look at myself in the mirror without the "girls", no hair, and all scars and bruises and SMILE! This journey has already made me stronger. Watch out world - once I've been through this, I'll be even tougher. 
• I've heard through the grapevine that I've inspired other women to face their fears and do that self exam or get a mammogram. Seriously - what's not to love about that?!? You go girls!!!
• I hope my children gain something from this journey - you don't have to be a victim. There is always something which is under your control, in some cases it may only be your attitude. Take that control and LIVE!!
• I have a work family that is super supportive and will give me the opportunity to jump back in and contribute as soon as I am able. That means SOOOOOOO much!

So, other than the whole cancer thing, this is going to turn out to be a net gain for me. Who would have thought?

Love to all,

Andee

Hey Andee, why are you going to physical therapy?

Here's the scoop.  Since I had lymph nodes removed, I'm at risk of developing lymphedema. As a result, I was originally referred to PT to learn lymphatic massage to help reduce the risk of developing this particular side effect. (I'll do a dedicated post for more info on lymphedema).  After meeting with the physical therapist, she talked to me about a research study she was doing involving ASTYM treatment for scar tissue in mastectomy patients. Let me be the first to tell you, scar tissue sounds like no big deal but OOOOH it can be. Mine has been uncomfortable but I've heard horror stories of women who have had it much worse than I. My PT said that she worked with one woman who said that hers felt like someone had wrapped a band around her chest and tightened it. She had trouble breathing! In my situation, I had some bulky scar tissue (ugly!!) but also some uncomfortable adhesion in my left chest. I had some serious tightness in the tissue but the worst part was that when I lifted my arm, it felt like there was tissue pulling from my elbow to my rib - so when that arm was lifted, it felt like my rib was being tugged...I mean REALLY tugged. It was not a pleasant feeling. In some women, the scar tissue can cause significant pain and limit range of motion, etc. So when I was asked if I'd like to participate in the research study, I once again said YES! I'm thrilled to report that the treatment is going well and the results are FABULOUS! The tissue has loosened up nicely and my rib no longer feels like it's going to pop out of my chest. The bulky scar tissue is gradually getting smaller - which is a wonderful thing!

So what the heck is ASTYM, you ask? Here's a link to a clip about ASTYM for scar tissue in other areas of the body but the process is the same. I'm happy to report that the treatment could be uncomfortable in my surgery area but, thankfully, I'm still numb enough that it's nothing more than a little weird.  

http://www.astym.com/video/default.html

So, if you or someone you know has an issue with scar tissue (not just from mastectomy), I highly recommend that you seek out a provider who does ASTYM. Wonderful, wonderful stuff.

What is love?

Love is wearing the most uncomfortable hair option and smiling about it simply because my boy says he likes it.  Heck, I'd wear a wig of needles if it made him feel better.  

I'm awake...for the moment

Hello friends!

Yes, I'm still here. It's post-treatment weekend so that means sleep...lots and lots of sleep.  My waking hours have been spent moving around, eating a bit and staring at my gorgeous husband. Not a bad gig if you can get it. ;-)