Post visit updates

Hello friends!
Today was a busy one and I'm worn out but I thought I would stop by and give you an update. There was good news and bad news. I'm happy to report that my annual follow up with my surgeon went well. All is clear - no lumps, bumps or anything that wasn't supposed to be there. The not-so-great news was that our attempt to extend the time between PT visits didn't work out as planned. Apparently, a month is long enough for things to go sideways! A little bit of scar tissue, a little lymphedema and a ridiculously stiff neck. IT'S GREAT BEING ME!  LOL
The good news is that I'm back to going every 2 weeks and we should be able to get everything under control.  *crossing fingers

Until next time!
Love to all
Andee

UNDER CONSTRUCTION: Anxiety

Funny story. My anxiety levels prior to mY follow up appointments seems to be increasing exponentially the closer I get to the 5 year milestone.  You'd think that things would get easier - NOPE! Not for me anyway.

More to come.

Love to all
A

It's October...Guess what that means

Hello friends! I'm back! I have failed, on a grand scale, to keep up with my goal of posting weekly but that's about to change. Regular posts are coming back but, for now, it's October and you know what that means...

It's time to talk about getting your mammos grammed!! 

Yes, ladies. Here we are again. It's October and you're probably being inundated with messages about breast cancer awareness. You're being tempted by all things pink (and in October, every damn thing is pink).  Don't get distracted by pleas to "save the ta tas". This month is about taking control of your health and staying in front of issues. You can live without ta tas (trust me, I know) so let's focus on keeping you healthy and, possibly, save your life!

This won't be a long post (you're welcome) but will be a not-so-gentle reminder that you need to get that mammogram. Let's review the reasons why you should schedule your mammogram ASAP!

• I don't care that it's uncomfortable - it can save your life.
  GO!
  NOW!
  
• Mammograms are uncomfortable but they are WAY better than chemo, radiation, mastectomy and reconstruction (or any combination of those things). Trust me on this one.
  
• Think of your daughter, niece, heck, any young lady you know. Now imagine that she tells you she isn't going to get a mammogram because they are uncomfortable and she has no family history, etc.(just a reminder - something like 80% of breast cancer patients have no family history)
  Face it, it sounds equally as ridiculous when YOU say things like that.
  
  GO!
  NOW!

You are a smart, strong, fabulous woman. Act like the badass that you are (even if it's only for an hour or so) and schedule that mammogram!  And be sure you actually go to the appointment as scheduled. 

If you need a cheerleader, supportive friend, or if you need something close to a drill sergeant, you can count on me!

That's it for today! Make some mammo-magic happen and make those appointments. 

GO!

NOW!

Love to all,

Andee

We've moved

Welcome to Andee's World! If you're looking for posts about my cancer experience, which were written in real time, you're in the right place. I'm still blogging but I've expanded the scope, just a bit. I'm writing about cancer (still), life after cancer, family, work...just about everything.  These are not posts about "social media life", but real life. I'm not perfect and I certainly don't have everything figured out.

There are more than 400 posts here to keep you entertained, so take your time here. If you're interested in the new world of me oversharing, follow the link below and come see how perfect imperfection can be.   :-)

Love to all!
Andee

Living A Perfectly Imperfect Life

How do you do it?

Has anyone figured out how to successfully “do it all”?  What do you do to keep a work/life balance?  I really want to know - let’s discuss!

Under construction...

Stay tuned! I’m working on the conclusion (finally) of my answer about reconstruction.  Next up, “You can do it!l. 

I miss y'all!

This will be brief but I wanted to stop by and say HI and that I miss my blog family. Life has been a little busier than expected this year but for the past month or so it's been crazy. Also, it's cancer screening season so I've been poked, prodded and tested some already but I still have my regular blood test coming up right before Christmas. That means I should know the results of everything before the holiday. I started feeling bad earlier this week and assumed I was getting hit with the stomach bug (while I was still fighting off the remnants of my Thanksgiving cold) but I think my body is trying to tell me that I'm worried deep down inside.  Sometimes I'm slow to receive the messages but I can eventually get it.

As always, I will keep you posted on the results and, as always, I'll take any prayers you want to send my way.

I'll be back soon!
Love to all,
Andee

Blog Milestone

Good evening, friends.
I'm currently working on the cancer and body image post. I hope to get it done this week. Tonight, I wanted to jump on here and acknowledge a looming blog milestone. When I started posting here 3 1/2 years ago, I wasn't sure where my journey would take me or what this blog would be become, if anything. As I've said a million and a half times, I started writing to keep family and friends up to date, for my own personal therapy and to share my journey with anyone who might be interested.  If I had a goal for the blog it would be that it help provide guidance, information, comfort and support to someone else entering their New World...even it was only one person, it would be worth it. I've heard feedback from a few folks, so that's success as far as I'm concerned.  I just noticed that my little piece of the blogosphere is about rollover to 50,000 views.  That's nothing for a big time blogger but it's amazing to me. If you've been following along, I hope you've learned a little and laughed a lot (well, at least a little) along the way. Thanks for hanging in with me!

Love to all!
Andee

Dear Cancer...

You SUCK! Yep, I said it. Everyone knows that I worry about tempting fate when I get mad about you but I'm in a mood. I wish I had the nerve to sit here typing this while wearing my F#*K CANCER t-shirt but...no...

I had a long, rambling, angry post planned for today. I was going to let it rip. But that's not happening, not today. Our family has been touched by yet another loss to cancer. I've cried a lot, I've felt like screaming, I've wanted to punch something. I let sadness, fear and anger take over for a while. I was ready to write my fiery post. Then something special happened. My (newly) 8 year old asked me if she could write a blog post. She knows I (try to ) post to my blog and she has decided that she's ready to write for her blog. What happened next touched my heart. I thought she was going to write about her love for Hamilton, Monster High or give a detailed recap of her birthday party. Boy, did I underestimate her. She typed the first few lines herself and there was a lot of hunting and pecking. In order to speed things up, she asked if I would type and she dictated to me. Holy cow! They are the words of an 8 year old, but she said exactly what I needed to hear. She wrote about faith and love. She wrote about supporting each other and looking for the silver linings. She brought me to tears and  brought me back from my unhappy place.  My wise little 8 year old reminded me that cancer doesn't deserve all of the energy and attention. The people who battle this HORRIBLE disease do. Their lives should be celebrated and we should find joy in the fact that they were part of ours.

Today, I'm smiling because it happened. I have been blessed with a wild, wonderful and loving bonus family for almost 30 years (that can't be right, can it? 😊). I hit the jackpot in the in-law family department. I love you all as if you were my own. I'm sure I'll shed more tears in the coming days but I will try my best to remain focused on the blessings I have received instead of what has been taken away. I hope you can do the same.

Cancer, you still SUCK!

Love to all,
Andee

Life is short, so what are you going to do with the time you have?

Good evening blog friends! I hope everyone is well. I'm in the early stages of my annual summer colds...and summer colds suuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck. I am not going to let that stop me! We are are knocking out some bucket list level stuff this weekend and I'm so very excited. I'll tell you all about it in a few days.

Let me start this part of the post by saying that I have not received any bad news, I would tell you if I had. The "life is short" stuff has just been on my mind lately. Not because I'm doom and gloom, but because I've taken the time to evaluate what I'm spending my time doing and how it adds value to my life. The result is that I was spending way too much time on things which were NOT adding a great amount of value to my life. This is not a commentary on anyone else, it's all about me (insert my "All About Me" song here...if you don't know, I'll post a video someday so you can enjoy). Earlier this year I was in a situation at work which required that I work a lot...I mean A LOT. It wasn't just for a few weeks, it lasted months. I was truly concerned that it was going to have a negative impact on my health. I'm happy to report that I'm on the other side of that situation now, and I was able to put work and home life back into a reasonable balance.  Yay! Balance!  Once I was able to manage the work piece of my life, I took a good look at my personal life. Don't worry, no relationship concerns, I just took a look around me and decided it was time to make some changes. So began The Purge of 2017. I've been working my way through various aspects of my life and getting rid of things that I don't need. I started reading Marie Kondo's book The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up: The Japanese Art of Decluttering and Organizing. It really is a fascinating read. I will spare you the details of the purge process (which Kondo says you should expect to take 6 months) but the number of trash bags and donation bags which have already been hauled out of this house is almost embarassing. I'm not a hoarder but dang! All of the family closets and have combed through and purged. I'm happy to say that I've kicked the "buy more storage options" mentality. If I end up with more stuff than I currently have places for, then I don't increase storage, I decrease the amount of stuff!

I've also taken a look at how our family spends our time. When the kids started school this year, we decided that weekdays would be tablet free. No iPads, no Kindles, no TV. Our goal was simply to try to ween the kids off of the devices so they would focus on school but we've gotten so much more. The kids don't complain, they've found other things to fill their time. They get their homework done, they play games with each other, they ride their bikes and enjoy the outdoors. Some of the things we didn't expect - the kids go to sleep faster and with less fussing. they don't seem to stall as much as they used to. Bonus!

I also had to take a look at my own situation. With a husband, 2 kids with (limited) activities, a full time job and long commute, my personal time is limited but valuable. I realized that I was spending a ridiculous amount of time on social media, having conversations about things I saw on social media, etc. When you do the cost/benefit analysis, you realize that makes no sense. I love keeping up with people and seeing pictures of friends and family, but it isn't something I need to do throughout the entire day, everyday. I removed Facebook and Twitter from my phone, though both apps remain on my iPad for my evening entertainment. I find that I'm picking up my phone less. I'm not completely distracted by those little numbers on the badge. I don't have to live my life through my camera and share it with the world. I can keep those memories as my own, experience whatever it is with my full attention instead of trying to document it and share it with the world. I'm not saying I'll never share with the world again, but I'm going to live my life in the moment. That's the priority.

There's still a lot of work to be done but I like my progress this year.

I'm under the weather so I'm off to bed but I leave you with the same question with which I started. Life is short, so what are you going to do with the time you have?

Love to all,
Andee

Perfectly Imperfect - Part I

It's been a while. it's a pretty long (and not so interesting) story so I won't bore you with the list of reasons why time to blog has been...well...lacking...since early this year. Things have begun to normalize over the past month or so, so I'm going to try to dive back in to some regular (probably not daily) posts.

I thought it was time to write about my scarred up old body. For any BC followers, this is going to be one my, long lost, really real truth posts. For others, you will either find this interesting or solidly in the TMI category. To me, it's just me, so read on at your own risk. 

To recap, I had a double mastectomy in April 2014 and then had to wait a year after radiation ended (in December 2014) before we could start reconstruction.  The reconstruction process started in January of 2016, took a year and included 4 surgeries and about 6 months of tissue expansion in the middle. Since I'm now over 6 months beyond the last of the big procedures, I've started getting questions about the process and the results so it's time to share! Don't worry, as always I keep things family friendly - there will be diagrams but no actual pictures. Just for you, I took the time to map my scars. I realized that I put the port scar on the wrong side but you get the idea. So here it is...my map to the scars!

The abdominal scars are older and unrelated to breast cancer, same for the scar on my throat. I just wanted to show that I'm not kidding when I say I'm all scars. The scar on my back is what is left after my lat muscle was released and pulled around to my chest along with a football shaped piece of skin (hence the shape of the scar on my chest). 

In real life, the implants turned out great! I'm very pleased with the way they turned out - I had nothing for more than a year and a half so I'm thrilled! But, as the diagram shows, they're never going to be "pretty". It's always interesting when my (non-plastic surgeon) doctors see them for the first time. Not for any other reason than to hear someone who knows where I came from comment on how great they look. lol  If you saw them in person you'd probably be thinking - "Holy crap she's right! Frankenboobs!" 

To be continued...

I'm baaack! : Let's talk about 2017 so far UNDER CONSTRUCTION

Good evening friends. It has been WAAAY too long since I've posted. 3 months and 3 days, to be exact. That's unbelievable. I'll spare you the details on the boring reason why I haven't been on here and get right to the updates. 

I was so optimistic in my January 4 post. I was looking forward to a year of no procedures and some personal rebuilding. Yeah, so that didn't quite work out as planned. I provided an update on January 15 that brought you up to speed on my newest issue but, believe it or not, things got more interesting from there. First, I will close the loop on that story. I'm happy to report that the biopsy results were negative for cancer and abnormal cells. YAY!! At the same time I received my results, I was advised that I needed to schedule a D&C sometime in the next 6 weeks. BOOO! So much for that whole "no procedures" thing. As far as procedures go, it's not a bad one. Recovery time is super quick, no stitches, no new scars (BONUS!) and, sadly, it wasn't my first rodeo.  The procedure was completed in late February and I got my results back in early March. Another all clear!! 

That should be enough excitement to start the year...right?  Well, not in my world. We had another cancer scare in the time between my appointment and procedure...I found a lump.  No, I am not even joking. I will fill you in on that drama tomorrow.

To be continued...

New posts coming soon. Stay tuned!

New stuff is coming!

Just when you think you're getting a break - WHAM!

2016 was the year of reconstruction. I went through 4 surgeries last year, the last of which was December 21. It was a long year and I was looking forward to a relatively uneventful 2017. Well, God apparently had other plans for me - or my uterus did. 

WARNING: to my male readers or anyone who doesn't want to hear about any uterus-related issues, stop reading now. I won't be graphic but there are some things just are what they are. You have been warned. 

Let me start with some background. I take a daily dose of a drug called Tamoxifen.  My type of cancer was hormone receptive so I take the Tammoxifen, which works to block the hormones.  This works in breast tissue. Apparently, not so much in the uterine area. Down south, from what I understand, the drug actually mimicks the hormones.  One of my super smart doctor friends will have to explain the "why" of that one. As a result of this weirdness, tamoxifen can have some less than desirable side effects. It can cause things like thickening of the lining of the uterus and uglier things like endometrial cancer. As a patient, I was informed of all of this from the very beginning. It's quite rare, affecting about 1% of users each year, but it is possible. The doctors, as always, did a great job of explaining the risks but also why the benefits of taking the drug outweigh those risks.  The other thing you need to know is that they will not/cannot do a "proactive" hysterectomy. Believe me, I asked! You have to have symptoms before they will yank the remaining lady parts out.  That means that I have to be diligent in keeping up with my regular exams and take advantage of the various screenings for which I qualify as a younger breast cancer patient. I have to know the symptoms and signs to look for and what to do if I have them. The other thing you need to know before we proceed, is that I went through chemotherapy induced menopause way back in 2014. Other than the raging hot flashes that came with it, it was the best gift of cancer treatment! Ladies, you know what I'm talking about. I was warned that things could start up again but it could really go either way based on my age. Maybe, maybe not. Now let's get on to our story...

I started working again last Wednesday after taking a couple of weeks off to recover. I didn't make the trip to Louisville until Tuesday 1/10 and went back again on Wednesday 1/11. I eased back in but was still dealing with soreness and the travel and the pace wore me out a bit. So by Wednesday evening I was spent! I thought I would just need some rest and try to slow down a wee bit and all would be well. Then it happened. My body said, "Not so fast there Sassy Pants!" Wednesday evening I started spotting. That's not good. It makes your brain jump ahead to the list your doctors gave you of things you have to address quickly. Your brain also tries to convince you of the weirdest things. Things like, you've overdone it, you're doing too much too quickly.  Really?! How much would you have to overdo it from reconstructive surgery to make your dang uterus leak. It makes no sense! Anyway, spotting is scary - any unexpected bleeding of any amount after menopause is not a good sign. Yes, I began to stress, just a bit (a lot). I considered for a moment that I might not share this development with anyone...but the moment passed. Rewind to my initial breast cancer diagnosis, I made the choice at the time to not tell anyone I had found a lump or that I would be going through tests, etc. My family and friends received the news after I was diagnosed. I vowed that I would never do that again. I immediately let Bobby know, though he knew something was up because of the look of fear in my eyes. After the initial shock wore off, I was able to sleep...well, more than I expected, anyway.  

First thing Thursday morning, I called my GYN to schedule an appointment. When I explained the situation to the wonderful lady on the other end of the phone, she said, "He's going to want an ultrasound."  Yep! She scheduled me for an ultrasound first thing Friday morning and a visit with the doctor immediately following. Great! I was all set. But, I had 24 hours to wait. Have I mentioned that I don't do waiting very well. I kept busy with work and household responsibilities. I'll spare you the details but as the day went on, things started to change a bit. Things changed enough that I began to believe that, based on my symptoms, this might not be cancer, but a case of overachieving ovaries. Could it be possible that I went through menopause 2+ years ago but things started up again? Could I be "lucky" enough to have the opportunity to go through menopause, not once, but twice?! It was looking that way - that's good news!

When Friday morning came around, I got up early and headed to town. All went smoothly - I quickly found a good parking spot, I actually arrived at the office door before it was even unlocked. When they opened a few minutes later, I was checked in quickly and then escorted to the ultrasound waiting area. For anyone who hasn't had an ultrasound, the techs are not permitted to provide you with the results. The doctor has to deliver that news. Once everything was done, the very sweet tech simply said, "I got some really good pictures for the doctor."  It's kind of difficult to interpret anything from that but I remained optimistic. I headed back out to the main waiting room. I didn't have to wait long before they called me back to see the doctor. I chatted with the kind nurse, she took my vitals, we discussed my history, etc. As she's typing her notes into the system, I look around the room and I noticed that the counter across from me held off the tools necessary for a biopsy. Yay!  Again, this was not a surprise to me. I told Bobby the night before that I expected a biopsy whether the ultrasound showed anything or not. If it did, I would need to have that tissue tested. If didn't show anything, they would want to be safe and would test the tissue to see if anything came back. Sometimes it's not always fun being right.  The nurse wrapped up and a few minutes later my fabulous doctor joined me. Bless him, he started off by saying, "You've really even through it, haven't you?"  Yes, it's been an interesting few years. I'll spare you the rest of the small talk and get to the good part. The ultrasound was clear. He didn't see anything that concerned him. He said that there was thickening of the endometrial lining but that was expected with the Tamoxifen. He then officially broke the news that a biopsy was imminent. He advised that a prophylactic hysterectomy wasn't recommended but that he would likely be doing a D&C in the not so distant future. So much for 2017 being procedure-free. 

The biopsy was not very pleasant but, thankfully, it was over in a couple of minutes. We should get the results back by Wednesday. Of course our hope is that it comes back negative, as we expect it to. If you have any prayers left to spare, whisper a quick one for negative biopsy results. If they do come back with any abnormalities, I expect that I'll be having a hysterectomy rather than a D&C.  We will accept whatever comes next and meet it head on. 

I'm reminded that this is our new norm. Once a cancer patient, always a cancer patient. 

I'll keep you posted on results and next steps. 

Love to all!

Andee 

Reconstruction: What I've Learned

Good evening friends. I'm 2 weeks post op so I thought I would stop by and do some sharing.

Let's start by summing up what I learned in 2016 in one sentence.

 

 

 Yes, the year that gave me back some girl parts and some extra ink also gave me more scars, bruises, pain and physical challenges than any other time during my journey. When I think back to my pre-cancer self, I'm pretty sure that I thought that the reconstruction phase would be easy. It sounds so much milder than a bilateral mastectomy. My post cancer self even feels a little funny talking about how difficult it has been because, unless you've been through it, you just can't grasp it. I don't like to complain, as I've said a million times, and  I don't post when all I have on my mind is complaining...note that there have been far fewer posts during recovery this year than during  treatment year. That says a lot.

I'm hoping that I'm done. I guess it depends on how things turn out once I've healed completely. Believe it or not the bruises are still lingering. They have faded a lot but they are still there. Swelling is still an issue. My surgeon told me that things should be much closer to normal in another month. Some of the articles I've read say that some of the issues can linger for multiple months. The worst is over and I'm hoping I've had the last procedure - at least for a while - I'll let you know if additional adjustments are needed.

 

So let's look forward to 2017. It's going to be another rebuilding year...just not surgical rebuilding. It's time to do a repeat of 2015! Due to physical limitations, I've not been able to do my preferred exercise. I'm hoping that I'm healed enough and strong enough to get back it very soon. For now, I shall walk but I'm planning out my goals for the rest of the year. Food, exercise, stress reduction...all that stuff. I'll blog about it all again since it's a great way to keep myself on track.

I'm thrilled to a few days away from my 45th birthday. Birthdays are much more fun when you treat them like the blessings they are. :-)

 

Happy New Year everyone! I look forward to many non-surgery, non-cancer posts this year.  :-)

 

Love to all,

Andee

The procedures

Good morning,
It's 2:30 AM and I'm awake and a little uncomfortable. That means its the perfect time to write while I wait for my Motrin to kick in.  I will finally fill you in on all that was done today.
A note to those of you who are interested in some semi-gross pictures of my experience today, feel free to stop by the pictures (discretion advised) section. I posted a couple of pictures.

Now, on to the procedures. As you know, this year has been the year of reconstruction. The journey started on January 11 with surgery #1. Surgery #2 was on February 1. Then came exapansion from February through September. Surgery #4 was on September 26 and we swapped out expander for implants. Surgery #4 took place today and was really a collection of procedures. This should be the last major surgery of the process. What a road it has been!
Today I was scheduled for the following:

• Nipple tattoos.  They're baaaaaack!  I haven't seen them yet since I have to leave the bandages on until tomorrow but I know they are there. There is blood-soaked gauze there to prove it.
• With mastectomy and reconstruction you can end up with pockets of fat and skin on your side under the arms. Yes, it is as ugly as it sounds and it's apparently very common.Today that fat was removed. Yes, I had lipo on my side. EEK! 
• Some skin was also excised from my side.
• I also had lipo to remove fat from my abdomen to be used for fat grafting.
• Fat grafting - This needed to be done due to very deep scars that needed to be filled. When I say deep, I mean deep. Remember, after my mastectomy, I was "boobless" for 2 years so the remaining skin and tissue settled into its own arrangement so deep scars remained even after lat flap surgery, expansion and implants. I said deep and I meant deep.  The fat that was removed was then added to the breast to help fill in the scars. Fascinating process. You can watch the whole lipo to grafting procedure on YouTube if you want hurt right along with me. 
• Finally, I had some additional skin excised from my right breast. I had a "dog ear" (I don't make these terms up) that she worked on and also had the Skin Cancer Scare spot (from July) removed as well.

As a result of the above I have multiple incisions, a good amount of soreness, continued leaking from the holes in my body, and I'm developing some pretty ugly bruising.  If I sit still the pain is tolerable but any movement or exertion that involves anything from my neck to my hips is quite painful. I just have to be patient and take it one day at a time.

So there it is. I think I covered everything. As always, feel free to send me questions, if you have any.

I'm going to try to sleep now.

Love to all!

The full moon and other stories

Yes, it's that time again. It's Really Real Post time!
I have neither the energy nor the time for a blog post but I feel compelled to post. As hard as everyone tries to make life seen fine and fabulous on social media and elsewhere, I'd like to share some truth. Sometimes, one day after another can be a challenge. It seems like things happen all at once. I'm going to let you take a peek inside my world this week. Before we dive in, let me say that I love my life. I'm blessed to be here and I'm not complaining. It's just a reminder that everyone has something going on in their life that you know nothing about. It would be good if we all remembered that.
Let's get started. For a moment we are going to back in time a bit. When I graduated from college I went into sales job immediately after graduation. I stayed in sales for a year and then moved to a customer service call center job. That is where I learned to respect the effect of a full moon. If you don't believe that things go a little weird when there's a full moon, go work in a call center and then get back to me. All of my fellow call center alums can tell you. Since I'm so experienced with the weirdness that comes with the full moon, I can often tell you what cycle of the moon we're in without even checking the chart or looking in the sky. No joke. You'll still hear me say, "It must be a full moon." I said it multiple times this week before checking this...

https://www.timeanddate.com/moon/phases/usa/lexington-fayette

With enough exposure, you too can be a moon whisperer.
So, what has to happen in my world for me to say "It must be a full moon"?  Here's my week in my trademark bullet style.

• My work days have been more hectic that usual. I am a person who loves technology but I have to have a planner. There's something about making lists and writing down appointments and logging my work that not only makes very happy, but it helps cement things in my old brain. I am not exaggerating when I tell you that every planner page this week is completely full. There are no more spaces on the to do list side of the page, and I logged work an appointments in every inch of the schedule side. Not only has there been volume, there have been new and different issues to deal with. I love (and I mean love in that unnatural level of excitement and fulfillment) when I can solve a problem. If someone gives me a problem, I see it as an opportunity and I do my very best to work through the details and get some resolution. Sometimes sheer volume of work slows me down but I try. I really do. This week has been a bit of a test. If that were the only thing on my plate this week, I wouldn't be writing this post. That's just bullet one.
• So then there's the whole "I'm a week out from surgery" situation. Add the fun that brings with it to the lists for both professional and personal. I try my best to wrap things up and prepare everyone for my absence and inability to do my normal stuff.
• I was referred back for PT prior to surgery because, well, I'm pretty high maintenance in the medical/health department. The turnaround was pretty quick and we needed to fit in as many sessions as possible before surgery. My surgeon's office and my PT office were on it and we got things setup and ready to go and then we had to wait on approval from insurance. I will not complain about my insurance because both companies that have covered me over the past 2 1/2 years have been pretty great. I will say that the approval process could go a little faster, especially with something time sensitive. I'm blessed to be able to say that my providers are not just fabulous at what they do, they are fabulous humans and they were prepared to make sure I got the treatment I needed regardless of what the insurance company said. How refreshing is that?! Strangely, when I went to my appointment this afternoon and we finished treatment and were talking about options for next steps, my case worker at the insurance company called and said that my visits were approved. What an experience that has been.
• It's also the last week of school before Christmas break. Lots to do and lots of kid-related bullets. This one will get its own sub-list
• Last tumbling session of the semester on Monday night
• Scouts on Tuesday night (G)
• The school Christmas play on Tuesday night (M)   (it lasted 2 hours)
• Tuesday night M's cough got progressively worse and she was feeling really crappy on Wednesday morning. Then she spiked a temp and lost all color in her face. I whisked her off to the doctor. When we arrived, she asked me if she had to walk into the office. If you know our kid, you know that is WAY out of character. If she isn't talking and doesn't want to move, you KNOW that she is feeling horrible.  We get her checked out. The quick test for strep is negative, we'll have to wait on the 48 hour test to be certain. Her chest sounds clear, her ears look good and they aren't concerned about flu. We are told that we should just be able to manage the symptoms and let them know if she gets worse. We get back to my parent's and I give her some Motrin, tuck her in on the couch and then lock myself in the office and finish my work day. I mention this, since we're being open, because I have a work problem (I like to work) and it causes me a great deal of Mom Guilt...we'll talk about that in another post)
  Happily, after sleeping for a few hours, she seemed to feel a little better. Before and after the appointment she said her ear hurt but the doctor didn't see anything so I thought it might just be pressure.
• Fast forward to today. I had PT in the afternoon (rescheduled from earlier in the day due to the insurance situation) so my lovely parents kindly pack the kids and I in their car and drop me off at PT. They watch my littles while I'm getting treatment. When I come outside to get in the vehicle, I open the door and M is in tears. I ask her what's wrong and she says that her ear is hurting really bad. You know, the same ear that was fine just 24 hours before. With the tears, I know she is in real pain. Mommy (and grandparents) to the rescue! I call the pediatricians office and they have an opening in five minutes. Papaw gets us there on time (luckily all of our medical stuff is relatively close together) and we are in an exam room within 10 minutes of my call. Yes, they rock!
  The doctor looks in her ear and turns to me (and I'm not exaggerating here) and mouths "OH...MY...GOSH"  She proceeds to explain to me that her ear looks so bad and there's so much pressure in there that it's likely to rupture. Thank you, Full Moon. In 24 hours we went from nothing to exploding ear. It happens. Don't play around folks!
  So back to our story. They give her a dose of ibuprofen before we even leave the office. They prepare me for what is likely to happen when it blows. Don't panic if weird stuff starts coming out of her ear, she said. Oh, ok. I'll do my best. EEK!
• The fun of the full moon doesn't stop there. Oh No. The doctor kindly calls in a heavy duty antibiotic. She tells me to get it quickly and get a dose in her. My folks get us all back to their house and then I head out to pick up the prescription. I go to the counter for pickup. They can't find it in the alphabetically sorted hanger bag section. The tech checks with the pharmacists are appear to working frantically on about a million prescriptions. They can't seem to find it anywhere. They ask me to come around to the other window so the nice lady can check per pile if baskets and the computer to see if we can find it. She asks for name and birthday. I give it to her and she says she doesn't have anything. At this point it's after 5 PM, doctor's office closes at 5. YAY!
  I call the medical exchange number in hopes that they will page the nurse and she get the on call doctor to help out. This has never happened before (I keep thinking FULL MOON) and I can't believe that they failed to send the prescription. I reach a LOVELY woman (SARCASM ALERT) at the exchange and I explain my situation to her. I just saw the doc, my precious daughter's ear drum is about rupture and I need to get the antibiotics started as quickly as possible. Rather than telling me "I will be happy to help you. I will page them immediately and we'll get you taken care of." She actually says to me, "You know, it's not instant. It takes time."
  Let's stop here and review. I could go on about sensitivity, professionalism, courtesy and the bond between a mother and her children. Let me just say that if I could have gone through the phone at this chick, you would have seen my smiling face on the 11 o'clock news.
  
  
   
  
  
  I proceeded to the advise the jackass on the other end of the phone that my daughter needed her medicine, the office is closed and I would like her to page someone who, I'm sure, would be kind enough to help me.   I hung up and called my darling husband and lost my crap on him. For any readers of the male persuasion, let me explain something very frustrating about your female friends and loved ones. There's this weird thing that happens when, otherwise tough, women get angry/infuriated. We tend to cry. I know! It makes no sense to us either. Every woman knows what I'm talking about. Our first reaction is not to punch someone (well, that might have been my first reaction TODAY but...) or loose our cool in public. When the emotion has no other way to escape here come the tears. It's SO annoying. Anyway, I tear up telling Bobby what happened - not because my feelings were hurt but because I was furious. As I'm talking to him the doctor calls back.  She confirmed that the Rx had been sent but she was sending it again just in case. I thanked her and, before saying goodbye, I told her about the jackass at the exchange. She said, "As a matter fact it IS instant and I'm sorry you had to deal with that." I so love them.
  Just when you think that the story couldn't get any weirder/more frustrating...
  I walk back into the pharmacy, go straight to the window where the pharmacist was that told me there was no Rx. There was someone ahead of me and I heard her say that the wait would be about 90 minutes. (GRRRRRREAT!). When it's my turn, I step to the window and tell her that the doctor said it was sent before we left the office but she had just sent it again. The nice pharmacist walks to the computer and asks me to confirm the name and birthday. Her expression changes from one of exasperation to...I'm not sure what. She won't look me in the eye but she half smiles and says "It's ready." I said," I'm sorry what?!" She points to the pick up line and says "It's ready."
  Do you see what happened there? Are you wondering how I was able to control my rage? For those of you that might not have picked up on it, she initially told me they didn't have a script for M. I went through that whole exercise of talking to the jackass, bothering the doctor, crying on my husband and then pulling it all back together only to be hit with the realization that THEY HAD THE SCRIPT THE ENTIRE TIME. It took me less than 3 minutes from the time the doctor told me she re-sent the Rx to get to the window. Miraculously, the prescription was already waiting on me. What great service! NOT  My guess is that she either spelled the name wrong the first time or had the wrong bday. Seriously? I know things happen but WOW. It was a day of one thing after another. Thankfully, after waiting in line for another 15 minutes, I had the meds and I was out!
• I was going to bake for the kids' parties tomorrow but I just didn't have it in me anymore. So store bought cookies it will be! (Another reason I'll never get mother of the year). I did take care of the $5 gift for the classroom exchanges and teacher gifts so I'll count those as wins!  Yay me!

That's just a glimpse into this week @ The LD. Say a prayer for us. I still have surgery prep to do, more PT (and resulting soreness), M will have 9 more days of meds and then it's surgery, holidays and hopefully some uneventful family time and lots of rest.

My wish for all of you is a warm and wonderful holiday with friends and family, some restful time off and an opportunity to count your blessings. They're there if you just look for them...even during a full moon.

 

Love to all!

Andee

POST UNDER CONSTRUCTION Updates & "I had no idea I needed that"

Good evening friends.
It's getting close to surgery time so that means blog posts. Yep, here I go sharing all of my business again and YOU...ARE...WELCOME!  😄
Have we talked about what's actually happening 2 weeks from tomorrow? I feel like I haven't written the "overshare" post yet. Stop me if you've heard this already.
This (set of) procedure(s) is expected to be the last of the biggies in the year of reconstruction.

Looking back on 2016

It's December tomorrow...DECEMBER, PEOPLE! What the heck?!
I was answering some questions about my upcoming procedures today and it hit me. This time last year I was trying to mentally prepare for 12 months of reconstruction work. It seemed so daunting at the time. It hasn't been easy, in fact, it's probably been the most physically challenging part of my cancer journey so far. But here I am, just 21 days from the final steps in the year-long process. The key is keep looking forward, don't focus on the challenge of the moment, but on the goal at the end.
I don't bore you with a long narrative...not right now, anyway. So here is 2016 in summary.

• January 11 - surgery 1 - release the lattisimus dorsi muscle to increase blood flow prior to moving it
• February 1 - surgery 2 - move the muscle (with some skin) from back to chest on the left side. tissue expanders implanted on both sides.
• March - September - tissues expansion - saline added to expanders every 2 weeks.
• September 26 - surgery 3 - tissue expanders removed and replaced with implants
• December 21 - surgery 4 - multiple procedures including tattooing, fat grafting and some surgical adjustments
• Also
• DRAINS - have I mentioned how much I loathe those things?
• Scar tissue
• Seroma
• Buckets of fluid
• Physical Therapy
• ASTYM
• Cancer Scare
• Physical challenges
• Low points
• Upswings

All that for some Frankenboobies.

 

I'm often asked if I would go through it all again. HECK YES! All of the procedures have been tough but the end result is worth it. Though more invasive, the process has a better success rate than other options. I would go through all of it again without hesitation!

 

 

Back soon!

Love to all,

Andee

I'm such a slacker

I really am a slacker - at least I have been when it comes to the blog. I've said it a million times, I feel better when I post regularly. It's pretty inexpensive therapy and no one even has to read the posts! Life, once again, snapped back to a certain level of normal after my last surgery. Sometimes it wears me out but the more hectic, the better. I work best under, at least a little bit of, pressure. It's bizarre but it's me...

I thought I should post a brief update before moving on to finish and release the 2 drafts that have been sitting in my post list. I have to complete the "letter" series and one entitled "Acceptance...now what?"  I'll wrap those up soon enough. 

If you follow along on the Facebook page, you might have seen that I have another surgery coming up in about 30 days. Calling it one surgery isn't quite correct. Technically I think I'm having 4 procedures at one time. It has been one heck of a year for surgery. This will be #4. In between #2 and #3 I experienced the joy of tissue expansion with fills every couple of weeks. It was not entirely pleasant but it's in the rear view now and I'm ready for the next step in the process. I'll provide the details soon enough.

I'm happy to announce that, for the next 4 weeks at least, I'm now physically able to exercise. I'm still not where I was in 2015 but I'm light years ahead of where I was only a couple of months ago. I haven't really been able to do any of the things I love, and that work best for me, due to a number of issues. The primary being the muscle that was moved. It still pulls a bit but it no longer feels like it's going to pull loose and snap back around to the spot where it came from. The visual of that in my head cracks me up every time.  :-) So, for the next 4 weeks I'm making sure I'm getting some exercise that counts in each day. Today was yoga. I've lost any and all flexibility over the past 2 plus years. I want to build strength and lose weight but I am very determined to get my flexibility back.  Just like 2015, I will publicly post my goals and my progress. It's all about holding myself accountable and not because I think anyone else is remotely interested. 

So there you have it. Things are rolling right along and I'll be posting more frequently in the coming weeks. That's the plan, anyway.  As always, feel free to send your questions via the site or pop over to FB. 

Love to all!

Andee