I must confess...

I was not a believer. I didn't think that making the trip to treatment each day would be tiring. I've spent ridiculous amounts of my days driving either for work or commuting to and from work. Driving does not typically bother me. Problem is, my routine for the last several months has not been "typical". I've been a homebody for most of this year. During chemo I didn't leave home very often with the exception of my weekly (or every 2 week) treatments or other medical appointments. This week of daily appointments in Lexington has reminded me that I'm still working to get back to normal. I just tire so dang easily! I figure that I will adjust eventually...probably by mid December. ha ha!!

So I had my first radiation treatment today. I doubt the glow will come with the first treatment, so I'll be working up to it.

 



Treatment was quite uneventful though some of my radiation experience over the past 2 weeks is the inspiration for the title of this post. Yes, I have something to confess. I hope I don't shame my husband or family but...yes...I have had topless photos taken. I know, I know...scandalous! 

 

 

 

Seriously though, over 6 days of visits so far, I have been scanned, marked with Sharpie, x-rayed, fitted, drawn on again and every step of the way someone has been there with a camera. I told them I didn't want those pics showing up on the Internet! They laugh. Of course, these days there's nothing of any interest to see but it's just another one of those things you need to prepare for if you are a patient. I lost all medical modesty a long time ago but if you are dealing with body image issues after surgery then you need to be aware that you'll be dropping your robe repeatedly before and after surgery, you do get to keep your top on for chemo but not with radiation. Don't stress though, they have seen it all before and just go about their business. The fun just keeps on comin'!!

 

The rest of the house is asleep so I'm going to go take my nightly soak and then try to get some rest. I need all of the extra ZZZZZs I can get these days. Whew!

 

Love to all,

Andee

Let's do this...no really...

We experienced a delay this week. They had some issues with their equipment at the hospital so my Tuesday appointment was canceled. That means everything was shifted by a day so radiation officially starts tomorrow. If we have no additional delays and I don't change my mind about going for treatment on Black Friday (yes, I would rather go to treatment than shop on that day) I'm supposed to finish on December 16. Let the countdown begin.

In an effort to provide information and honest feedback on treatment, I'll be documenting my experience just like I did with chemo. The hope is that it will help someone...even if it's just one person.  I will warn you, they say that the first couple of weeks are the easiest, as far as the skin issues go. I'm hoping for a relatively uneventful treatment experience but if anything gets funky, you'll read about it here.

By the way, I want to wish our miracle boy a very happy 7th birthday! Love you, buddy!!

 

 

I'll be back tomorrow to let you know how it goes. Nighty night.

 

Love to all,

Andee

What a day! - UPDATED

If I learned one thing today, it is that I am NOT yet back to my old self. My tolerance for life without a nap is exactly ZERO. Fatigue is still a very real part of my life and, based on my research, this could go on for months! We haven't even officially added in the added fatigue from daily radiation. WOW!!!!!! Don't worry, I know I have to give myself time and this old body has been through a lot in the past 7 months, but you cannot fully appreciate how much I want to get back to normal...or close to it.  UGH! I would go abuse our punching bag to get out some frustration and get some exercise but I'd probably collapse into a deep sleep and injure myself. I am on a mission to get this fat butt into some sort of shape, other than a sphere, but I have to pace myself...did I say UGH!!! yet?  lol

So, an update was promised so let's get this thing going. Bobby and I started our day by dropping the kiddos off at school (for a few minutes of our day, it's as if we are normal people!) and then it was off to my 8 AM appointment. I spent some quality time with my infusion family - it's been couple of weeks since we've gotten to enjoy each other's company. The topic of the day seemed to be hair - new styles (nurses), new wigs (me), regrowth (me), I learned about "chemo fuzz" (intriguing), styling tools (I was providing info on my fav tools - I did have hair at one point, remember. When I was diagnosed it was past my shoulder blades...now it's barely past my scalp!!), we also talked about new protocols (for the nurses...also intriguing) and about online shopping. For those of you who do not know me personally, I do not like to go shopping in a store. I LOATHE IT! If I could do my grocery shopping online, I would. My lowest point was the year that I ordered all of my Christmas gifts wrapped. I took them out of the box and put them under the tree...done! I haven't done that in a long time, I figure I should at least put the effort in and wrap them personally.   Aaaanyway - in addition to these topics I learned something about when nurses (as students) actually get to work on real people...intriguing. Never a dull moment! 

Back to the boring details! Had a good chat with my oncologist and his nurse. We discussed my cold and the side effects of Tamoxifen. The cold is finally letting up though I still have a cough from time to time and my voice cracks sometimes. No nuisance side effects from the Tamoxifen thus far. Hot flashes and night sweats are the most common. Chemo gave me hot flashes so that's nothing new and I'm not having night sweats so, so far so good.  The really serious stuff could show up at any time (blood clots, stroke, uterine stuff) so we just have to keep an eye on things. We discussed radiation and how we could coordinate my treatment schedule to make it as easy as possible. 

After meeting with the doc it was on to infusion. I'm still not used to how quickly I now get hooked up and unhooked. It's a beautiful thing. I'm still there for a  couple of hours but it used to be twice that! All went smoothly and we were on our way. We left the clinic, headed home to switch cars and were on our way again for, what turned out to be, our 4 county tour. Woohoo! We traveled on to Lex, grabbed a very quick bite (yes, drive thru...it's all we had time for) and it was off to the hospital. `
(We pause here because the above referenced fatigue means that I must now sleep. I'll finish tomorrow)

LTA - ACD

Ok, I'm back...still exhausted but here. Where were we???  Oh yes, on to the hospital. We are rolling on down the road to radiation. We had a lengthy chat with the nurse then an exam and chat with the doctor. She is FABULOUS! We discussed planning, treatment, side effects, attitude and we found time to laugh. That's always a good thing.  Sounds fun, right? Well, we weren't done yet. You don't just start radiation. You have to get scanned and marked up first then on to more preparatory work. Yesterday's preparation consisted of meeting the team of lovely ladies who will be administering my treatments. They are a HOOT and we are doing to get into trouble...I can feel it. During our session yesterday I had a relaxing CAT scan then they broke out the Sharpies and gave me some ink on chest. Just when I thought it couldn't get any uglier, they drew Xs and lines in permanent marker and covered them with, what look like scotch tape circles. Technical stuff!

Once the scanning and the marking was done I was taken on a little tour. Since radiation therapy patients get treated daily, we get our own check in system, waiting room, dressing areas, etc. It's kind of self service other than the radiation part. After the tour we discussed scheduling. I have to go back Monday for a fitting, of sorts, on Tuesday they'll do the "test run" and the radiation will actually start on Wednesday. The 33 day countdown will start then. So there you go!

Now that day probably doesn't sound like much to you but I was spent when we got home. As I mentioned before, I sat down for a few minutes and ended up getting a bit of a nap. I slept hard last night and then slept for almost 4 hours more after the kids went to school. That's like chemo level fatigue and I didn't even have treatment yesterday! I'm hoping I'll adjust quickly but we're almost in the home stretch so I'll listen to my body and rest when it tells me I need it.

Time to sleep again...I just can't get enough. 
Back soon,
Love to all
Andee

It's time...

The next leg of our journey is about to begin. I'm strangely excited to get started because, as said before, this means we're getting close. One day at a time, I'll get there. Tomorrow is the first step in this phase of treatment. Next comes 33 daily treatments...where's my sunscreen?

 

I'll know more about what comes next after tomorrow's appointments (yes I have a few) so I'll update tomorrow evening. We'll be breaking in the Radiation Oncology team tomorrow, think happy thoughts for them. I hope they are ready for us. ;-)

 

Love to all,

Andee

Oh, come on!!

If my (growing) hair doesn't start to fill in and this weight loss doesn't speed up,  I'm going to get grumpy.  I am but a pair of dark socks and sandals away from looking like a little old man.   :-/

 

All kidding aside, the hair continues to grow. It seems to have experienced a bit of a growth spurt in the past couple of days. What's there is growing but there is some filling in that needs to happen, for sure! I've been going wigless most of the day (woohoo!) but I still wear a hat - lightly coated heads really do get cold!  If you're going through or getting ready to go through chemo, my suggestions is to get some comfy hats!  I'm blessed to have a wonderful friend who made 2 batches of hats for me. They are most perfect! Find hats that are warm and comfy, you'll be glad you did.

 

So, it's almost time to talk treatment again. Most of my treatment break was spent battling a cold but I'm happy to report that I've felt just about normal for the past couple of days. Just in time to get radiated!   I know I'm weird, but I'm so eager to get this started. Can't get on the road to finishing this part of the journey until we get started. The first step comes on Wednesday. It will be a Professional Patient Day - appointment with the medical oncologist, Herceptin infusion, appointment with radiation oncologist. Good times! I haven't had a day like that in a while. Since this is all brand new to me, expect some really boring posts with details and the ins and outs of radiation. It should be FASCINATING!

 

My sleep cycle has been relatively normal recently...well, other than the fact that I could still nap during the day...I actually go to sleep and stay asleep and the alarm actually wakes me. That's HUGE!

That said, I'm sleepy so I'm going to sign off. I'll be back soon.

 

Love to all,

Andee



Family

Let me start with a bit of a disclaimer. At times during this post, it may seem like I'm being vague. That's because that's what I will be trying to do. I put my life on the blog voluntarily, my family and friends have not made that choice. I am respectful of that and will ALWAYS  be vague or not even discuss certain topics if they impact/involve others who have not specifically consented to having their business thrown all over the blog.  That being said, our family has experienced an unexpected loss this week. We are all shocked and saddened but, as always, we will circle the wagons and show tons of love and support. You might think this post will be another "no one is promised tomorrow" post, but it won't be. This one is about family.
We have a very large, but close, family. I'm not sure how everyone else's family works but my cousins were my first best friends and, at different points in my life, have been more like siblings than cousins. That is such a blessing and I wish the same for my children. As with many relationships, as we've gotten older there have been shifting priorities - marriages, children, and less time spent together. I can tell you that it does not change the love I have for my aunts, uncles and cousins. When I received my diagnosis earlier this year, I received messages of love and support and offers to help us with meals, tending to our property - whatever we needed. They were there, like they always are. None of us are perfect, no one is. But I know that in a time of need, someone will be there to help. So, as we are once again touched by something horrible, there is comfort in knowing that we are not alone, that we will be there for each other and especially for those who need to be lifted up with love and support during what is a most difficult time. I love you all!


Andee

Ponder it, accept it, and move the he## on

In a few hours, I will officially hit the "6 months since surgery" mark. Can you believe that?? It's hard to believe how much has happened since "Lump Day", diagnosis day, and yes, Bye Bye Boobies Day. In addition to that 6-month-iversary, tomorrow marks another milestone as I will be calling to schedule radiation. That will set in motion another period of constant BIG C reminders - hard to forget you were diagnosed with cancer when you have to go for treatment E V E R Y   D A Y. Though I have been battling a cold, I have been happy to have a bit of a break from the hard stuff, but it has given me time to think about what's to come. During this time something hit me...once a cancer patient, always a cancer patient. See, I've been taking this journey, mentally, in small segments. If you keep up with blog you know what I'm talking about. I have focused on one step a time. To quote President Bartlett, I just say "What's next?" and deal with whatever is next. During this downtime it has occurred to me that my journey with cancer will NOT end when chemo and radiation end. This is my life now. I have to take daily medication for up to 10 years. I have to be careful to minimize my risk for lymphedema (have I done that lymphedema post yet?), due to the treatment and medication, I'll have to be monitored for side effects including secondary cancers. I have been so focused on the getting through the short term journey that I hadn't really thought about what comes next. Don't worry, I'm still GREAT. I hate cancer, in all of its forms, and I'm happy that I'm able to fight on. I respect the fact that everyone doesn't get a chance to look that far into the future so you will NOT hear me complain. I wake up every morning and laugh at my fuzzy head in the mirror, give thanks for another day and get on with living. I don't have the time or the patience to worry and it's so much more fun to laugh and live for the moment.
Now, on to the funny stuff. So, if you have been a reader since the beginning or if you got started late and went back and read from the beginning (bless your heart), then you know I went to see about falsies a couple of weeks after surgery but I've not actually gotten any yet. I know, I know...I should just do it. At this point, though, since I share all my boob business with the world, I think I would kind of feel like a fraud if I got them...and actually, you know...wore them. Plus, you know me, if people who know see me out with them on, I'm going to have to ask something stupid like "So, what do you think? Did I get the right size?" or "Are they straight? You HAVE to tell me if one is higher than the other...it's your duty!" I'm considering going to get them since I'll be "going to town" on a regular basis. I know I won't wear them all the time so, of course, I found a humorous way to think about what I could do with them when I'm not wearing them. I mean, really, with the hair, there are wigs everywhere. It looks like small dogs have died all over the house! Anyway back to the falsies, I suggest that you hop on over to the FB page where I will be sharing some funny stuff from "101 Uses for a Fake Boob (or Two)"  Enjoy! Laughter IS the best medicine!!

Love to all!
Andee

Have I mentioned that I am SOOO over this cold?

It's time to put some humor back in this joint! Sadly, I've spent my  treatment bye week battling this never ending cold. MOVE ON ALREADY!!    Pardon the language, but this sums up my attitude toward this cold...I'm not a fan.  Don't worry, one daily dose of Nyquil is as strong as I can get.

 



I will be scheduling radiation this week - I'm not sure when it will actually start but my Med Onc thought I should wait until this week to call so I could get a good rebound from treatment. I'm hoping the cold isn't going to cause any delays since I'm already looking at a December end date (I was hoping for Thanksgiving week, but oh well...) Here's a little early radiation humor...

from xkcd.com

As far as the rebounding from chemo goes, I'm getting there. Fingers and toes are getting WAY better. I've felt significant improvement over the past couple of days. I am also THRILLED to report that I think the taxol/steroid side effect of endless appetite and weight gain has left the building!!! Beginning on Sunday, I noticed a dramatic change in my urge to eat. Where I could have eaten anything and everything, all day every day just a day before, I found that I didn't really have an appetite and the same was true for today. Don't get me wrong, I'm eating, but at appropriate times and I know when to stop. I hopped on the scale today, just out of curiosity, and I'm down 3 lbs. Woot woot! I started Tamoxifen a few days ago. I'll be writing about that soon enough but that may play a role here as well. Who knows...
Well friends, I'm still working and now (I'm hoping) I'm kicking the tail end of this cold (2 weeks is enough, right??) but you should see the posts start to ramp up again. Of course, that's only good news if you're into that sort of thing.  I will be taking some time to do some menu planning. With daily treatments + the commute + work + family, I figure this weekend will be a good time to knock out some freezer meals. I'm not sure I'm going to feel like cooking once the daily treatments start so, I figure, let's plan! If you're interested in what I do, I might post a little something on the lifestyle portion of my blogosphere footprint.   ;-)

Love to all!
Andee

I've been away too long..

...but I'm still here and posts are pending. If you really need updates and haven't checked out the FB page yet, you can go there for my quick updates and random thoughts.

Click the FB icon on the main page or use this link. 
https://www.facebook.com/andeesnewworld

I hope to have some posts up soon so check back!

Love to all,
Andee

Pushing through

Good evening friends,

I'm pretty sure I've been away too long but here I am! I'm 2 weeks out from my last chemo but I haven't really been able to fully enjoy the "break" because I've been sick most of the time. I still have some fatigue but I'm not sure if it's lingering from chemo (I'm not sure how long it takes for that to pass) or from my under-the-weather-ness. Either way, I'm more than ready to feel normal - as if I remember what normal feels like at this point. LOL  I actually thought I was getting better but apparently I just had a day or two of "better" and then the cold, or whatever it is, kicked back in and made its traditional move from my head to my chest. I've not run a fever at any time over the past couple of weeks - well, it went up a little after my flu shot last week - but nothing to worry about. So, I'm pushing through. I'm just eager to get some energy back! I'm hoping this thing doesn't linger too long. I'd like to have a few days of freedom from treatment AND illness and the clock is ticking. I'm starting my Tamoxifen this week and I call to schedule radiation next week.

I think I've mentioned that I'll have to take Tamoxifen for 5 years...weeeeeell, my oncologist said that recent studies have shown that taking it LONGER than 5 years may improve outcomes. That means it could be a daily pill for 10 years peeps. 10...TEN...5+5...5X2...YES 10 years. Every day...for 10 years. a decade. I can do this, right? It's just a pill (that will cause raging hot flashes and possibly endometrial cancer...but "it will only be stage 1" he says...oh really, is that all?)  Oh well, I will continue to roll with the punches with a smile on my face 'cause that's how I roll.

I should have a better idea about the radiation schedule in the next week. I have to complete my simulation before they can get started but I would say everything will happen pretty quickly once that step is completed. I'm mentally preparing for daily commutes for treatment. They tell me the fatigue could be as bad as chemo so we'll see. I'm going in with the attitude that it's going to be easier and, if I can squeeze it in, I'll take a quick nap and hope that helps. I have a family to tend to, work to be done and a life that doesn't include treatment, for which I need to prepare. I need energy to get this horrible steroid/treatment weight off. I've gained about 20 pounds (give or take) in the last round of chemo. Seriously, the one thing I thought when I heard CANCER was, "Well, at least I'll lose weight." WROOOOONG. This is the fattest I have been in my LIFE and I'm not a fan. Also, I hear that the weight is difficult to lose so I'm sure going to need to find that extra energy to go the extra mile. I can do this! 

Speaking of fatigue, I'm going to go get some sleep.

Love to all,
Andee

<3 CRD Mommy's Little Angel

My first Komen Race for the Cure as a "Pink Shirt"

Today was my first Doc OK'd Big Crowd Event. The Lexington edition of the Susan G. Komen Race for the Cure. We had such a great time!

 

Team "Andrea's Entourage" pre-race.

 

Lots of people!

 

The Entourage (minus Jacklyn who was taking the picture) at the finish line.

Patsy & Bobby post-race.

The Chemo Coach (AKA, my big sister) & me (the dorky one with pink hair)

 

Cousin Paula & Aunt Etta!

The Hubs (Bobby), Nadia, Jacklyn, Chris and David. Andrea's Entourage was Jacklyn's idea - thanks girl! So flattered and touched that you thought of me and much love and thanks to the rest of you for showing your support. Mucho Love, Friends!!! So good to see you and spend time.

 

It's October and you know what that means

Pink this, cure that...yep, sounds like October to me. So, am I going to beg you to donate money? Buy that pink can of soup or wear a pink ribbon?  NOPE. If you want to do those things, by all means do! All are great but if I could ask each and every person who reads this blog to do something in honor of BC Awareness Month it would be this: create a schedule for monthly self exams and STICK TO IT and, if you are of age, schedule that mammogram. That's all I ask. Saving the Ta-tas is a catchy slogan but I'm more of a "who cares about the ta-tas, let's save some LIVES" kinda gal. Why, you ask? Because if you're so afraid of losing the ta-tas that you avoid testing, of whatever kind, you could lose a lot more than your ta-tas!  Got me? So ladies, do the check and make the appointment. Early detection CAN save your ta-tas, so it's a win-win!  For my 3 male readers, put some pressure on your mom, sisters, lady friends...anyone who won't think you're sexually harassing them, to get checked. If you are afraid of losing the ta-tas and need some extra motivation, I'll be happy to show you what it looks like to lose them. You'll be on the phone making an appointment in record time. Save the ta-tas, better yet...let's save some LIVES!!!!!

Love to all!

Andee