Sunday, January 31, 2016

It's that time again. Are y'all ready to dance?

Tomorrow is surgery day, and you know what that means!!

DANCE PARTY TIME!!!!

wifflegif.com
giphy.com
giphy.com
Tomorrow will be a long one (6+ hours) so pick a bunch of your favorite tunes and dance with me! Surgery days are all about fun, positive vibes and dancing. So wherever you are, get your groove on!

I've kept busy today. I even overdid it a little and had to rest for a while but all is good. I'm wrapping up my chores and my packing (and I caught up all of our laundry - that's a darn miracle!). 

Once again, I will provide updates until they take my phone away and then control will be handed over to Karla and Pam. My guess is that they will update on Facebook because I'm not sure they remember how to update here.  

I will post something as soon as I'm able, though it might be tomorrow evening. I will be awake @ 8 PM for certain...The X-Files is on!  

Good evening friends. Back tomorrow!

Love to all,
Andee

Friday, January 29, 2016

Today's post is brought to you by the word seroma

Wednesday January 27, 2016

Here we are, day 1 after the tube was removed and I already have a seroma. It's not too bad, but it's there. I'll let you know if I get to the beachball stage. The thought of that just plain grosses me out. ICK!
I'm tired (even after a nap!) so this will be short.
'Night!

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Friday January 29, 2016

As you already know (assuming you read the post from earlier today), things got worse over the next 24 hours but I'm feeling much better today. I feel a little like I'm wearing a float my chest. You know I'm very visual about stuff and I searched for a funny picture to post to give you an idea what it feels like. I have been unsuccessful in my search. So, imagine, if you will, wearing one of those doughnut-shaped floats around your chest. That will give you some idea what the sensation is like...except mine is more like a half doughnut. It's weeeeeeird. Last time this happened, it got so bad that I actually looked forward to seeing my surgeon come at me with something like this...

www.starsyringe.com
...and jab it in my chest. I don't think the syringe in the picture above is big enough but all of the pictures that show the actual type they used on me, come in pictures of them actually being used. Nobody wants to see that. Anywaaaaay, I'm not to the point that I'm feeling all dreamy about a big needle but I'm not comfortable. I'm still wrapped in the compression bandage (which I am now calling my "warm hug", in all of it's velcro and elastic glory), and I'm sure that's helping so no real complaints.  It could always be worse.

STRAIGHT TALK ALERT.

My drain site is looking a little better, though it still looks a lot like a wee GSW. It has sealed nicely and the angry skin around it is looking better. My back incision is still a little red around the edges but the worst parts are the areas that scabbed over. I've been treating them to try to soften them but it if I stretch a little to far...well...it kinda feels like that end of the incision is just going to pop loose and that whole flap is just going to fly off.  #plasticsurgeryproblems

My arrival and surgery time are confirmed. Once again, we will start early on Monday morning and I'll be on the table for 6 hours or so. I'll come out with 3 brand spanking new incisions over the 3/4 of my torso, 2 new foreign objects implanted (expanders, no foobs yet), 3 new SUCKY drains (no pun intended) and a catheter in my back. My goal is to maintain my really inappropriate sense of humor right up until I nod off and then showing my monitor to friends and family as soon as I can. If you're new to the blog, here's a picture of me showing my monitor prior to my mastectomy. It's become kind of a thing.  I think my husband and siblings see it as my version of "thumbs up" after surgery.


I could ramble on for a while longer but I will spare you for now. I'll write some more about my thoughts on the upcoming procedure and pull out some throwback posts.

Much love to all!
Andee

What a difference a day makes...again

Hello blog friends!
I apologize for being gone for a couple of days. It was not planned. I was ok on Wednesday but I had a horrible night on Wednesday night and felt horrible yesterday and spent most of the day trying to rest. The fluid started building up in my back and a bit on my side after the drain was removed. By Wednesday night I was quite uncomfortable and had a horrible time sleeping.  I went to bed and fell asleep but was awake only an hour or so later. I don't think I went to sleep until about 4 AM and was awake again by 6:15 or so.  After the kids were off to school, I put dinner in the crock pot and hit the couch to try to sleep. I wouldn't say that I was napping, it was more like a series of brief "dozes" and didn't really help much. By early afternoon, I was feeling awful.  I was tired, sore and pretty nauseated. Once again, my parents saved the day and came down to pick up the kids and hang out at the house while I slept. I was able to sleep soundly for just shy of 2 hours and it made a world of difference. Thankfully,I'm feeling much better today, thank you for asking.
So, the week that I thought was going to be one filled with "almost normal", wasn't quite.  I will continue to prep and plan for Monday's surgery and the recovery period to follow. The past 2 1/2 weeks + have just flown by.

Gotta run for now but I'll be back later.

Love to all,
Andee

Tuesday, January 26, 2016

The good, the bad and the ugly

A good amount of information to share after today's appointment, so let's just jump right in.

The big news is that the drain and 60 stitches are OUT. YAY!!!  (The Good)

First, the drain. It was still producing a good amount but, at this point, we want to minimize the risk of infection so it had to come out. That means that I will likely have a build up of fluid on my back between now and surgery. That's called a seroma. (The Bad)They suck. I still think it's better than the drain but it's not fun. In an effort help minimize the swelling/fluid build up, I'm currently wrapped snuggly in a compression bandage. It's not so bad. Quite comforting actually - now I know why babies like to be swaddled so much.

I guess we should talk about the actual drain removal. It's a little hard to explain. I would say that it is more uncomfortable than painful but there is a little pain. There is some soreness after the removal, for sure.  I went "commando" today - no pain medication of any kind. The nurse cut the stitch (part of which was "healed over"). Then came the fun part. She told me to take a deep breath and she pulled. I'm not trying to gross you out but if I'm sharing, I have to share it all. As you might imagine, there has been 2 weeks of healing since the drain went in. That means that thing gets settled in its place. That means when she pulls it out, it doesn't just slip right out. There is some effort involved to get it pulled loose from its tethers. So there's a tug, a pop and then a feeling that, I would guess, is not dramatically different from pulling the shaft of an arrow out of your torso.  Of course, mine didn't have a arrowhead on the end but there's a good amount of tube that has to make its way out. I made it through without any problem (other than the brief pain/discomfort).

Next came the stitches. Now, I'm a pretty quick healer. That's a good thing but that also means that my skin was already at the point where it was trying to heal over the stitches. Yes, I can't just be easy. It's not my nature. The good news here is that the incision area is basically numb except for a few spots. Even in those spots, the feeling is minimal. So when the nurse started removing the stitches, she told me to let her know if she was hurting me because some of those stitches were in there pretty good. I didn't have any issues. I could feel her tugging and I could tell what she was doing but there wasn't any pain. Strangely, when she got to, approximately, stitch number 56, I broke out in a sweat and feared that I was going to faint. I told her she wasn't hurting me but I wasn't feeling right. (The Ugly)She said she was glad I told her and she let me lay back and relax for a few minutes until the wave of weird passed.  I told her how strange I thought that was since she wasn't hurting me and it really wasn't bothering me. She said it was my body's response to us messing around with the surgical area. So strange.  But, YAY ME, I didn't hit the floor.

After all of my extras were removed (did I mention YAY?!?), we chatted about prep for the next surgery. I've been feeling a bit of a cold coming on and I let her know. She said a common cold isn't a deal breaker but if I even have an hint that I've ventured into some sort of infection (ear, sinus, UTI) I need to act immediately. Any infection can be a deal breaker. The variable here and the area of concern is the fact that I'm having foreign bodies implanted. You don't want any infection making its way into/onto those things.  So, at her suggestion, after my visit I drove directly to RiteAid and picked up some Zicam and Emergen-C. I'm going to fight this cold as best I can. I need to knock that sucker out and do my best to keep it from turning into anything else. I do NOT want to delay this process.  After I picked up my items, I headed back to my parent's house. We had another snow day today so they watched the kiddos while I went on my Magical Medical Tour. Since I had some assistance with childcare (bless my parents!) I was able to get some rest. I went down for a nap at a about 12:30, with the intention of sleeping a couple of hours. I woke up at 4:45 PM.  Your body knows when you need rest. Wow!

So, tomorrow I visit with my oncologist. I haven't seen him in a few months so we'll get to spend some time catching up. After that, I'll continue my planning and prep for surgery number 2. It's so hard to believe that it's less than a week away now. I shall be strong and roll on!

I'll catch up with you tomorrow.

Love to all!
Andee

Monday, January 25, 2016

2 weeks after surgery: The Really Real Truth

Good evening friends.

I'm baaack. I'm officially 2 weeks past surgery #1 and now a mere week away from surgery #2. It's time to discuss the experience thus far and consider what's ahead.

First, this...I've thought long and hard about posting pictures and have finally come to a decision. I will share some things but nothing I wouldn't show my kids.  That means, if you're curious about what's been done so far and what's coming, you can take a look. I'll have drain pics (my least favorite), a surgical site pic (as of now, no foob pics will be posted as I want to keep it family friendly) and anything else that might not be Instagram/Facebook appropriate (based on my personal standards). If you want to look, you'll be able to. If not, my business won't be in your face. Enter the photos page at your own risk. I will likely try to ease the yuck factor by posting in black & white. It makes it a little more tolerable.

Now, updates on life after surgery.
This has been challenging. I know I sound like a broken record but I had no idea what to expect when this part of the journey started. I'm going to share the ups and downs of recovery thus far. My intention is not to scare you if you are considering reconstruction, I just think that it's important to understand what you're getting into and what you can expect. As always, I will insert the disclaimer that the experience is probably different for everyone, but this is my story. I'm sharing the details so consider yourself warned.

I've mentioned that this has been physically challenging. I'm not sure that I have explained why. The drain is an inconvenience and a maintenance item. You have to empty the bulb at least 2 times per day and you also have to strip the tubes at the same time...I do it more frequently than I empty them. I've shown you a diagram of the JP drains before so I won't do it again. I will share a little bit more about what they do and a little detail on the maintenance. To my medical friends, feel free to share more clinical (and correct) explanations in the comments or on FB. I don't have formal training, I'm a just a professional patient.   So back to the details. The drain helps remove fluid/blood after surgery. Often, there's some tissue/maybe clots that make it through the tube - sometimes it even blocks the tube. After my mastectomy, I only had drains for a week post-op but they were a pain! The one on my left side got a little backed up and leaked where it exited my chest. It was awful! I've had the current drain for 2 weeks now and it's still producing. I've been diligent about stripping the tubes and haven't (yet) had any backups. The JP drain works kind of like a vacuum. When the bulb is empty, you squeeze it and then close the top. It then gradually pulls the fluid (and whatever else can fit down the tube) into the bulb. The bulb will hold up to 100 ml but I never let it get that full. The goal for removal is to be producing less than 30 ml daily. I'm not even close to that yet. I emptied it this morning and measured 60+ and as I sit here now I'm guessing that it's holding over 70.  I see my plastic surgeon tomorrow and last week the nurse told me that the drain would likely come out regardless of production. So what does that mean? That means, if they take the drain out, I'm likely to end up with another seroma. That means fluid build up at the surgical site. Oh yay! Eventually your body will absorb the excess fluid  but the build up can be painful. I had to have seromas aspirated on both sides after the drains were removed after my mastectomy. I've never been so happy to have a huge needle jabbed into my chest. No kidding. So, if the drain comes out tomorrow, I'll probably have to deal with some fluid build up, which can be uncomfortable and painful. I'll deal with it. I just want a few days drain free before the triplets show up. UGH!

So, you might be wondering what I mean when I say that I have to strip the drain tubes. It's a lovely process that requires me to pinch the top of the drain tube (which I can barely reach due to its location) and squeeze as I slide my fingers down the tube towards the bulb. This pushes the fluid and tissue down the tube and (hopefully) into the bulb. Sometimes the tissue is stubborn and you just have to wait until it makes its way down on its own. Sounds lovely, right?

As I mentioned, tomorrow I go for another post-op follow up and will likely get the drain removed. The drain exits my side about 12 inches +/- below my armpit. Based on what I saw when they pulled out my first drains, there are several inches of tube that goes from that point into or near my surgical site. The tube is held in place by stitches. If they remove the drain tomorrow, they will have to remove the stitching and then just pull that sucker out. It's my least favorite part of the process. That last time it didn't hurt, really. It was not the most comfortable experience but it's over pretty quickly. I think my front was much more numb than my back is now, though it is pretty numb. I'll let you know how awful it is tomorrow. If it hurts, I'm sure I'll forget all about it because I'll be overjoyed to be drain free for at least 5 days.

Now on to the rash. It's not 100% gone but it is SOOOO much better. I'm not excited about the prospect of having the rash over 75% of my torso next week but I'll do my best to prevent it. The surgeon is aware and is ready to treat if I react again. I'll also be ready to aggressively wash that stuff off as soon as I am able. I'll probably still have a reaction but hopefully it will be minimal. If it's a full blown itchy nightmare that covers my torso, I will be asking for some sort of sedation so I can sleep through the worst of it. No joke! I don't think it will come to that but I'm prepared.

My surgical site is healing nicely, from what I can tell. I still have 60 stitches, which I hope to have removed tomorrow. The hardest part of the process has not been skin/incision related. It has been that poor angry muscle that was detached and "tacked" back into place. Trust me, you have no idea how much you use that muscle for even the slightest movements. Even two weeks after surgery, there are certain movements that make it spasm. Just standing around it feels like it's perpetually contracted. It's bizarre. And recently, once the swelling started to go down, I started to really feel it. Sometimes it feels like it's going to pop loose and roll up like a window shade.

I've done some research, trying to prepare myself for this experience. It sounds like I'm (possibly) in for nerve pain, muscle spasms/cramps and general discomfort for the next few months.  I've read about the experiences other women have had so I'm prepared but, again, my experience might vary from theirs. I'll give you the play by play as it happens.

As I close for tonight, let me just say that I'm feeling more and more like myself each day. I understood at the start that I would not be fully recovered from surgery #1 before we rolled into surgery #2 but I'm feeling better about it each day. Even two short days ago, if you had asked if I was ready for #2, I would have given you a big fat NO! I'm in a better place mentally and physically. I'm ready to get it over with and move on to recovery so I can be ready for the next phase.

If you have questions, as always, feel free to ask. For now, I'm going to bed.

Love to all!
Andee

Friday, January 22, 2016

What I've learned in the past 11 days

In honor of the first day of feeling pretty good (not yet 100%) I'm going to write a post to tell you how difficult the past 11 days have been. Yay!  I've waited until now to write this so it would NOT be a Debbie Downer post. Since I'm feeling better I can now post something with the touch of humor you have come to expect. You are welcome!

Lessons:

  1. I'm still amazed that you can have areas of your body that are completely numb (like you can stick a needle in them numb)...but they itch...buuuut they're numb so you can't feel it when you scratch.  Can some of my medical friends please explain this to me? I can't seem to wrap my mind around it.
                                            
  2. Since this surgery was lucky #13, I should have remembered that there is always a day, one usually very soon after surgery, when you think you feel good. And you act, for that one day, like all is as it should be, and then you get whacked in the head by reality.
  3. Reconstruction sounds like it might be easy. NOPE. This isn't even the "big" surgery and it is SOOOO not a joke. I would argue that this recovery alone has been more physcially challenging than the mastectomy. Not by leaps and bounds but still...
    By the time I get to the implant surgery, it's going to seem like getting a haircut!
  4. Since this surgery isn't a "life or death" thing, you feel guilty if you come close to complaining. Yes, I'm blessed to be here and to be able to suffer through this but it doesn't make the tough days any easier. Yes I could have opted not to do it but here I am. I'm outside of the complaining window (except for the drain, I'll continue to complain about that and won't think a thing about it) but I will share my experience because I think it's important to provide the really real truth. I'll make it funny (somehow) but I will share.
  5. It's difficult to explain the drain setup to small children. For the first few days, Mattie was convinced I was slowly bleeding to death. I tried to explain to her that the blood that was coming was "extra" blood, that I didn't need it. Somehow her little mind thought that the blood was fake. Gabriel is fascinated by the engineering involved. He is trying to figure out how it all works. Mattie is grossed out but he keeps asking to check the bulb. I probably would have been the same way when I was his age.
  6. And finally for tonight, I need to rest when my body tells me to. And guess what...it's screaming at me right now. 
I'll be back tomorrow. I can't drive, I can't play in the snow, and I can't shovel or throw a snowball. So with a foot of snow outside,  I'll have to come up with something to write.   

Love to all,
Andee