Cancer Patient Problems: Summer Edition

Happy Memorial Day Weekend to my blog friends! I hope you are enjoying a bit of a break and remembering why we have this holiday.

So, let's get into it. Today I'm doing another one of my (sort of) educational posts. A cancer diagnosis is life changing in so many ways. If you haven't had the joy of walking this journey then you may not realize the types of changes and/or life modifications which need to be made. That's why I'm here, sharing my business!  You're welcome.

As you may, or may not, be aware, I had some lymph node work done last year...among other things. That puts me at risk for a lovely condition called lymphedema. Apparently, our lymph systems prefer to be left alone to do their work and can get a bit grumpy if disturbed.

I will forever be at risk of my left arm being flooded with lymphatic fluid - yes, it's not a pleasant thought. Anything on that arm that triggers that system to kick in puts me at risk. Like what, you ask?  I'm not to have needle sticks or have blood pressure taken on that side. I have to be cautious, all the time. A paper cut, a bug bite, sunburn, a scratch. Do you see the challenge here? It's summer. That means sunburns, bug bites, scratches...  That also means I shall spend the summer sporting the following accessories:

And my look, now and forever, will be pasty.  That's depressing. Even when I have a re-built bathing suit ready body, I will be frighteningly white. YUCK  I know I can do a fake tan but I don't like orange and, my luck, that crap causes cancer too. So pasty and covered it shall be. 

I'll be back later with another post. 

Love to all!

Andee

It's Midnight, I'm tired but I promised...

...so here I am.
Today was a treatment day. Infusion only, no doctor visit. Everything went smoothly and I was out before by 10 AM...not bad. You might recall, on my last visit I shared a treatment room with a lovely lady who had been recently diagnosed and had just lost all of hair. She said someone had donated a wig for her but it was silver...she was not thrilled about that. I had held on to a box of wigs with every intention of donating them to an individual or an organization at some point but for some reason, I hadn't yet. Apparently I was waiting for her. I offered her the wigs and took them back to the clinic on the same day and left with the nurses to give to her. Today I took back the wig brush and spray conditioner I forgot to take the first time. I asked one of the nurses if she could pass on the supplies and she smiled and said she would be happy to. She then told me that the other patient (whose name I don't know) was so thrilled with the wigs. She said she cried (happy tears, I hope) when she got them and kept saying she needed to get me something. I told the nurse to please tell her that she's more than welcome for the wigs, I was happy to pass them on and she didn't need to get anything for me.  I'm so thrilled that she was so thrilled. Sometimes the smallest things can be big things. You just never know.
It's never a bad idea to pay it forward.

I can do no more tonight.  ZZZZZZZ

Love to all,
Andee

Dear Mom

Dear Mom,

Yes, I'm going to embarrass you with blog post that all about you! I tell you that I love you a lot. I say thank you a lot. What I don't do is shout to the world how special you are. (Dad is special too but his day is in June!). Here's what I know...

I know that I was a challenging child...and I'm now reminded of it every single day because there is a Mini Me living in my house. She is strong willed and opinionated, even at age 5. I don't always love the fact that she asks why or pushes back, but I know that once we get past the teenage years, those personality traits will serve her well.  I was once a strong-willed, opinionated 5 year old but you never treated that as a negative. I know (for a FACT) it had to be frustrating at times but you never tried to change me. You never told me I was bossy or that I needed to act more like a shy little girl. You let me be me, even when being me included funky hair, funky clothes (which you did manage well - I would have been funkier without your guidance) and you even loved me when I pierced my own ear...5 times. I'd like to think that I've grown into an OK adult. Whatever I might do right, as a parent or just a human, I'm pretty sure the credit can go to you.

I know that you were a great role model for me. I watched you and how you "did it all" when I was growing up. You went back to work when I started 1st grade. You figured out how to work 12 hour days but still got Karla and I where we needed to go. Dance, choir practice and the pool in the summer. I never felt like you were absent or that we were missing out on anything. I'm still challenged with the work/life balance and some days I wonder how you kept it all together and kept your sanity. If only I could be a awesome as you!

I know that I love the fact that you treat my husband like he's one of your own. When your crazy, loud mouth, bitchy daughter brought home the quiet gorgeous guy, I'm pretty sure you didn't have any idea that he would still be putting up with me 27 years later. Thank you for making him feel like part of the family and being there for him through all of my issues.

I know that you are a wonderful grandmother. I made you wait a little longer than most but I know you love those little people right down to your soul. I feel so blessed that they get to spend time with you. I have mixed emotions about the whole "spoiling thing" but I know that's part of the grandparent gig so I will keep my mouth shut...most of the time.

I know that the phone call I made to you in March 2014 was the single most difficult thing I've ever had to do in my life. I wasn't emotional over my diagnosis, I was emotional because I knew how hard you were going to take the news. The last thing I ever want to do, ever, is cause you pain and I knew that call was going to hurt...a lot. I knew you would be shocked, confused, emotional and terrified. I hate that we were so far apart and that I had to break the news to you over the phone, that I couldn't hug you and look you in the eyes and tell you that I was ready to fight like Hell!

I know that you should have spent the last year enjoying your retirement, spending time with your friends in Florida. Without hesitation you came home and did so many things for Bobby and the kids that I just couldn't. You helped keep everything somewhat normal during the months of treatment. You kept the babies during the worst part of my treatment cycles so they wouldn't have to see me that way. You helped with drop offs, pick ups, groceries, you were Mattie's "dance mom", my nurse, and so much more! I can never, ever, ever, thank you enough for your love, support and your faith.

On this Mother's Day, I want you know that I hope I can be half the mom to my children that you've been to me. Those are big shoes to fill but there is not a day that goes my that I don't catch myself wondering WWMD (What Would Mom Do?).

I know that you are one special lady and I am beyond blessed to call you Mom.

Happy Mother's Day MimMim, I love you so very much!

Andee

A Mother's Day Letter to my Mother In Law

Dear Mom #2,

I'm not sure how many married folk are blessed to be able to say that they not only get along with their mother in law, but love and adore her. I feel so blessed to fall into this category. You have been a part of my life for all but the first 15 years of my existence.  Let that soak in for a minute.  (When Bobby and I started dating, you were younger than I am now.) We are always straight with one another and we don't always agree but somehow that works for us.  You are feisty and, at times, fiery and I love that about you. Over the years, I've not only grown to consider you my second mom, but a friend. We talk family, health, work, movies, books, and maybe a little gossip here and there.

I grew up in a world that revolved around family so joining the Doolin family, even in the early days, felt very comfortable to me. Your fierce love for and loyalty to your family is undeniable. You have always been there for us and we can't ever thank you enough. We've been through a lot during the past 27 years together and I'm looking forward to many more to come...the years, not the drama...I'm good with the drama.  :-)

So, on this Mother's Day, I want you to know that Doolin kid #4 loves you more than you might know and is thankful for you each and every day (even on your more feisty days).

I love you Granny Bug,
HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!
Andee

It's time for that smack in the back of the head

If you know me, you've heard this before so skip on ahead to paragraph 2. For everyone else, here we go. In my experience, when I begin to focus on the wrong things, life/God has a way of smacking me in the back of the head so I snap out of my idiocy and focus on what's important rather than what's petty. I could give you plenty of examples of this happening but I'll spare you. Trust me, it happens often!

Now that we are all back together, let's get to "The Smack". In the past few weeks I've found myself irritated if not slightly angry over a couple of things. Fatigue is an ongoing issue and my weight loss has plateaued/paused/gone on sabbatical. These two items, in particular, have been bothering me. A lot. That, along with the added joy of chemo-induced menopause, makes me a REAL joy to live with sometimes. Just when I was at the peak of my distress a couple of things happened.

1. I got to spend time with some people whom I adore. We haven't gotten to see each other much in the past year so it was extra special to get some time with them. A week ago Saturday I had lunch and did some plant shopping with a friend of 20+ years. This past weekend, we spent the weekend with my sister from another mister and had some fun with her family. Things like this remind me how blessed I am. Even with the big bucket of suck that was 2014, I'm still here and I am surrounded by some pretty lovely people. Love, hugs, laughs, family, fun and friendships are the important things in life and I'm blessed to have such wonderful people around me. That's what is important - not the number on the scale. The weight loss will start up again and, you know what, it's not the end of the world if it's slow going. My body is worn out so I gave it a break this weekend and I feel better for doing it. Rest and recovery is not a bad thing after 3 months of nonstop workouts.
   
2. I met a new treatment buddy and was reminded that even though I'm being treated for cancer, there are still people who are dealing with more ugly things than I am. She was a lovely lady. She was just diagnosed on March 20 and was there for second chemo session. We talked about hair loss and she told me that most of her hair fell out in one day. She was wearing a turban and said that a charity organization had given her some wigs but they gave her silver and she said she was not ready for that. She was too young for silver. I told her I had some wigs that were given to me that still had the tags on them and I would be happy to pass them on to her if she wanted them. She said she would love that! As we continued to talk, we finally got to the "what are you in for?" conversation. She told me that she had gone to the ER thinking she had pneumonia, doctors agreed and treated her for 3 weeks with no improvement. She went back to the ER and they ran some additional tests, including a CAT scan  and that's when they found the cancer. She said the doctor teared up when she walked in the room and had to give her the news. She had cancer in her lungs and several other places. In her conversation with me it was easier for her to list the organs which were NOT affected. On top of that, it's small cell lung cancer and that is some nasty stuff. After speaking with her I realized that if fatigue is all I have to deal with, then I shall suck it up and smile about it!

Don't let yourself get focused on the wrong things. Let yourself get smacked in the back of the head so you remember that EVERY day is a blessing and how we handle all of the challenges we face makes us who we are. Be thankful for your blessings and don't let the tough stuff get all of your attention. We only live once and who wants to spend that time being angry and upset over silly stuff? Not me!

Back soon.

Love to all,

Andee