Doctors, doctors everywhere...

I'm baaaaaaaaack.....

Yes I'm here for a post after a lengthy break. Don't worry,  I didn't "fall in the water" again. I've just been busy with life. Being busy with life makes me tired and when I'm tired I sleep whenever I get the chance. Blogging goes well with insomnia, not so much with sleeping. I'm sure you understand.
Anyway, here I am! Now what?......

 

 

I guess I could update you on the health stuff. So far this week I've seen my radiation oncologist and my medical oncologist. Basically they broke up with me. I guess, in this world, that's a good thing. We haven't called it quits completely. I will see my medical oncologist every 3 months but I'm not scheduled with my radiation oncologist for a whole year. I'm sure she will find a new favorite patient by then. I just can't think about it.   ;-) Next up I get to see my FABULOUS surgeon. Who would have ever thought I could think so highly of someone that chopped off body parts. Oh, but I do think the world of him. I've said it before and I'll say it again. If you ever have to have anything chopped off or taken out, he's your man!  

 

 

As I was saying, I will be seeing my surgeon soon so there will be talk of (knock on wood) port removal and a timeline for reconstruction and all that goes with it. He will be sending me off to a plastic surgeon for a consult at some point. What fun that will be! I've got my eye on a nice set of Scarlett Johanssons.

 



As always, when the time comes, I will share my business with the world. :-)

We have quite an adventure planned for this weekend. I'll try to post throughout but I'll probably be sleeping when we're not out and about...heck, I might be sleeping WHILE we are out and about. I make no promises. 

I'll be back soon enough.

Love to all!
Andee

I fell in the water...

...but I am not staying there!

Don't worry, this won't be a "downer" post...at least I hope not. Just to keep the mood light, I'll include some Phteven!

Oh, how I've missed him.

Ok, back on topic,

Today's post won't be depressing but I would classify it as an RRT  post. For any newbies, that's a Really Real Truth post. As I've said before, the goal is for the blog to be open, honest and hopefully help others know they aren't alone. So let's go...

It's been a bit of a perfect storm of not-so-fun life experiences over the past month or so. Cancer has played a starring role in most of it.  

Just a quick reminder. I made a choice to share my business on the blog - friends and family have not so there will be times that it will seem like I'm being vague. I AM being vague but I'm sure you understand.

You want some honesty? I'll give you the straight poop. I find life after treatment way more difficult and way more scary that life during treatment. I'll write in more depth about this later (I can't stay awake much longer) but I have been dealing with some serious anxiety over the past few weeks. I've had days where I'm pretty sure I haven't gone more than 30 minutes without thinking about cancer - is it really gone? will it come back? what will I do if it comes back? I have a pain - is it cancer?  

The mind can get caught in a loop. Trust me, it's not a the happiest of places.  I've had days where I felt like I couldn't breathe. It was pretty scary.

I have anxiety related to my own situation but I've also dealt with loss (from cancer) in my family and circle of friends. Again, you deal with sadness, fear, anger, survivor guilt...it can be overwhelming. On top of the emotional issues, I tried to take some time off from working out to try to let my feet heal a little. They had gotten really, really painful again so I finally decided to give them some time to recover. Bad idea!! Not for my feet  - which after a very painful few months, are feeling surprisingly normal- but for my sanity. When you hear that exercise can help with anxiety and/or depression, they are not kidding.

I've finally gotten myself "out of the water" and I'm feeling so much better. I will not live my life in fear of what might be. I'm back to living in the moment, I'm not dwelling on what could happen, I'm enjoying what IS happening. The best medicine I could ask for was being surrounded by friends and family over the holiday weekend. Now, I'm diving back into daily workouts and working to make sure my body, mind and soul are strong and prepared for what is to come. 

I have to rest now but I'll write more later. Until then, get out of the water!

To the friends and family we've lost, we'll miss you. I will continue to borrow my friend's hashtag...

#suckitcancer

Love to all,

Andee

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When we bought our house nine years ago the goal was to have a place where family and friends could gather. The house isn't fancy but the yard is big. We envisioned cook outs with good food, fun games and a lot of laughter!   We have hosted summer gatherings every year since we moved in... except last year. The mood around the LD was very different then. It was way too quiet and serious, for my taste. 

 As we enter the July 4 holiday weekend I'm beyond excited to finally have the house full of the people that I love, once again.  I'll get emotional about it before anyone arrives. I'll be all smiles and laughs by the time everyone gets there. ��

If you are in the area, come on by. All are welcome. Bring a dish and a chair!  

Another step in the journey!   

Happy 4th to all!

Love to all

Andee